How to ask someone to hang out without sounding desperate: A young man and woman sit together with warm drinks, accompanied by a pug.

How to Ask Someone to Hang Out (Without Sounding Needy


When you like someone, it can be an intimidating thought to ask them out. This is because asking someone on a date or to hang out lets them know that you are interested and means that you risk being rejected.

If you have noticed flirting in your conversation, this may be a sign that they are likely to say yes, but it is not a guarantee, which can make people anxious. Many worry that by asking someone out, they will sound desperate, and they do not want to be seen in this way. However, there are many ways to ask someone to hang out without sounding needy.

How to Ask Someone to Hang Out Without Sounding Needy?

A couple sits on the grass, with the man facing away and the woman lying in his lap, her legs crossed.


One effective way to ask someone out without sounding desperate, regardless of whether you’re a girl or a guy, is to frame your question in a manner that offers them an easy ‘out’ if they’re not interested. For example, you can invite them to join you in an activity or event you are planning to attend, such as a BBQ, or gathering. This approach alleviates any pressure on their part and helps them feel more at ease. Moreover, it conveys your interest in seeing them without making it imperative if they have other plans or preferences.

Before asking them out, make an effort to inquire about their schedule. Evenings and weekends, including Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, are generally safe choices, as most people are not working and have more free time to unwind. If they’re busy during the week, find out their availability next week and suggest a couple of options. For example:

“I know this cool jazz bar downtown. They have the best live music. Would you like to check it out next Friday or Saturday night?”

Meeting someone in person that you met on a dating app? Check out our article on what to do when meeting someone from Tinder.

How to Ask Your Crush to Meet Up Over Text

Let’s take a look below at how to construct a message like this if you are asking them to hang out via text message.

A text message of someone asking their crush, Anna jacobs, to hang out for a get together at their house and her cconfirming and asking for details.

You can see in the message above; that the invitation is casual and yet still shows your interest. It gives them an easy way to say that they can’t meet you, without making it awkward between you.

Learn more about whether you should text a guy when they have rejected you here.

If you’re feeling nervous about one-on-one hangouts or have had less-than-ideal first dates when meeting your crush for the first time, consider a more relaxed approach. Invite your crush to hang out with a group of mutual friends. This way, you can get to know each other in a comfortable, social setting and gain insights into how they feel. If the group gathering goes well, you can plan a second date with just the two of you. This gradual progression helps alleviate the initial pressure in the early stages of a potential relationship and allows you to assess vibe and chemistry in a relaxed manner.

Find out how to ask a girl to hang out without it sounding like a date.

What To Do When Hanging Out With A Girl or Guy

A couple rides their bikes out in the fields with clear blue skies. The girl sits on the seat handles and lightly touches the man's cheek.


When planning on asking your crush out on a date, it can be difficult to know what to do when hanging out with them. You want to choose a specific activity that shows the girl or guy you are interested in that you listen to what they have to say and know them well. This will make you look attentive and that you care.

Think about the conversations you have had, either by text, in person, or through a dating app you’re chatting on like Hinge or Bumble. If you have access to their social media, look at their previous posts and stories to see the type of things that they are interested in. You can then use this information to plan a date that they will not only enjoy but that they will realize has taken some thought from your end.

Things to look for would include what type of food they like to eat, places such as restaurants or museums that they have said they want to visit, or hobbies that they like taking part in. It could even be something as simple as asking them to go to the mall or watch the next episode of their favorite TV show together. If you have tickets to a show or event, it’s a good chance to invite the guy or girl that you’re interested in and enjoy something interesting together. This will allow you to plan a date that they will enjoy – meaning that they will be more likely to want to go on another with you.

When you are hanging out with a girl or guy that you like, make sure that you are attentive and compliment them. Ask them questions and engage in conversation to find out more about them, as well as share some more information about your life. This will help establish a connection between you, which you can then continue to explore in future dates.

Show genuine interest in your crush by maintaining good eye contact and injecting humor. For instance, you can ask about their hobbies and interests, listen attentively to their responses, and respond with a lighthearted joke related to the topic. Light flirting, such as playful teasing or complimenting their sense of style, can add an element of fun to the conversation. Additionally, gentle touching, like a light touch on the arm while sharing a laugh, can help establish a sense of connection. Well-timed jokes, especially in response to their sense of humor, can build the spark and increase the comfort level.

If you are looking for flirting techniques and tricks to achieve more dating success, be sure to check out my Complete Online Dating Success Guide.

What To Do When Your Crush Says They Have No Plans

If the girl or guy you like mentions that they have no plans, this is the perfect opportunity to arrange a date with them. Often, you will find that if you give an open-ended invitation, it can be hard to pin someone down to meet them. If you know that they are free over the weekend or on a particular day, consider asking to meet them at a specific time and place, as they are more likely to take you seriously and commit to the date. It’s best to give a couple of options of days and times they might be available. Let’s take a look at the example below:

A text conversation with Kayla Jackson, where they check if she's free on the weekend and suggest meeting up for drinks.

As mentioned, you should have a rough idea of their schedule and a few specific activities in mind that they would be interested in. Whether it’s a bike ride, trying out a new coffee shop, or having an extra ticket to an event, the key is to keep it casual and low-key. Look for cues or hints in the conversation that reveal their interests. For instance, if they mention enjoying tea or coffee, a café is a great option. If they have an interest in art, an art gallery might be more appropriate.

What Does It Mean If My Crush Asked Me To Hang Out?

A young Black man sits on his comfortable brown sofa, checking his phone, with a bookshelf behind him displaying various items.


If your crush has asked you to hang out, this is a good sign that they are looking to spend more time with you – but is it a date? They might not use the word date but are they looking to spend time with you in a large group, or one on one? If they are wanting to spend time with you alone, this is probably a date. This, combined with flirty messages and behavior in person is a strong sign that they are interested in you romantically.

When they are just getting to know you, they might ask you out with a group, but spend more of their time talking to you throughout the day. The activity may also be a strong indicator – are you taking part in typical ‘date-like’ activities, or is it more a hang out as friends?

If you are unsure, why not ask your crush out yourself, letting them know how you feel as this will also confirm whether they are interested in you. If you meet a guy or girl you fancy on a dating app, it’s important to know the right time to ask them out. Take a look at our article on when to ask a girl out on Hinge here for some great advice.

At the end of the date, let the girl know that you would love to spend more time with them again – and make sure that you follow up on this. Send a quick message to them saying that you enjoyed your time, and wait for them to reply. Also, be sure to tell them to text you when they get home. This will show them that you care about them and give you an idea of whether they feel the same.

When Should You Never Ask A Girl or Guy Out

A young man with glasses, wearing a bright pinkish sweater, places his hand on his chin as he gazes upwards, lost in thought.


Most of the time, if you are interested in someone, why not take a chance and ask them out? However, there are a few situations where you should avoid doing so. Firstly, if the girl or guy you have a crush on is in a committed relationship, it is best to avoid this as the situation can become messy.

If they are single, you also need to make sure that they are interested in you. If you are getting signs they don’t like you, you may want to avoid asking them out if you are likely to be put in the friend zone. There are some tell-tale signs that your crush may not be interested in you – if you find that your text messages are a dry conversation where you are receiving one-word answers, or if you are trying to flirt and are not getting anything back.

If you find that your conversations on dating apps like O Tinder don’t seem to be going well – take a look at our advice here.

Additionally, if you have asked your crush out a few times, but they keep saying that they are busy, this might be a sign that they are looking to friendzone you. Stop asking them out as this can just lead to you feeling rejected over and over again. If they were simply genuinely busy, they could rearrange a suitable time with you on their terms. And if they’re not interested, it’s best to move on. Dating apps, like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, are great for meeting new people.

The Take-Away

Hopefully, this guide has helped you learn how to ask someone to hang out without sounding needy. Whether you are asking a girl or a guy to hang out, the last thing you want is to appear desperate. While it can be nerve-wracking, and the fear of rejection is real, there are many benefits to making the first move. If they say yes to your invitation, you have the opportunity to build a new friendship or relationship and enjoy some fun interactions. So, if you’re wondering whether you should ask your crush out, I recommend taking the first step and expressing your feelings in a heartfelt way. The worst that can happen is they’ll say no, but they’ll likely respect your honesty. Being upfront about your emotions and feelings takes courage.

If you’re looking for a fresh start in your dating life, I’m here to assist you. I can enhance your dating profile, craft an engaging dating bio, and provide you with great conversation starters for popular apps like Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, OkCupid, and CMB.

Moreover, I offer personalized conversation coaching on how to communicate effectively through text messages. Learn to make a strong impression in your text conversations and receive valuable feedback when you’re uncertain about the direction of your chats. To begin your journey, simply reach out. I’m excited to work with you and help transform your dating life.

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