Online dating is no doubt a tricky business. For something that seems so simple on paper, finding matches and asking people out requires quite a bit of effort and an understanding of the systems at play.
It can be devastating, therefore, to be left hanging after making so much headway. People are fickle – they could seem madly in love with you one minute, then want nothing to do with you the next.
In this post, we are going to discuss what happens when everything seems to be going well, only for it all to fall apart at the last second.
Table of Contents
Asking people out requires a significant amount of nerve. There is always a chance for rejection, which can be tough to deal with for some people. All that fear makes way for anticipation, however, when you finally get a yes.
Of course, as we mentioned, people are fickle. A yes on one day does not mean a yes on the next. One of the worst things you could ever have to deal with is being canceled on, especially just before the date.
A common excuse that people will often supply to get themselves out of a date is being too busy to make time for you. If a girl ever tells you that she is too busy to go out with you, it could mean a few different things. She may not be as interested as she seemed, or she may have found someone else. Of course, there is also the chance that she is legitimately preoccupied.
Finding the appropriate subtext when a girl tells you that she is busy is key to determining how you should respond, and whether or not pursuing this relationship is truly worth your time. Let us take a look at the different possible meanings behind the common excuse, “I’m busy.”
Sometimes people just are not as interested in you as you are in them. More often than not, this is not the fault of either party. Rather, it is merely a lack of compatibility or a difference in personality.
A good way to determine whether or not a girl is truly busy is to wait and see if she reschedules with you. Put yourself in her shoes – would you tell someone you were interested in that you were too busy to go out?
If she does not ask to reschedule immediately, she is unlikely to do so later. You could try to suggest another date and time yourself, but you will likely end up wasting both her time and yours. If you feel so compelled, get an idea of their schedule then suggest as many potential date ideas as possible to really keep her interested.
The best way to respond to a girl who seems uninterested is to let her know that you understand and that there are no hard feelings between the two of you. You will feel much better this way than if you pursued her further.
The early stages of a relationship are largely trepidatious. Neither party will likely be genuinely sure of the other until a few dates later, once both have found their groove. It would be unfair to assume that you and a girl you have just met should be exclusive.
At the end of the day, everyone is trying to find the right person for them. That is why online dating sites exist in the first place. You cannot hold it against anyone.
You may have already gone on a couple of dates with someone, only for them to tell you that they are too busy to go out again. Now, it is possible that you may have said or done something to turn them off, but we will assume that you know better.
It is much more likely that they have met someone else in the meantime, someone to who they are more attracted and compatible. And although it may seem like a betrayal, it is ultimately better for both of you in the long run. They get to be with someone who truly makes them happy, and you get to continue your search for the perfect partner.
Like our previous suggestion, the best way to deal with this is to let the other person know that you understand and hold nothing against them. There may even be a chance for the two of you to be friends, should you choose. Otherwise, it may be time to stop texting them for good. It is important to always keep your expectations low during the early stages of a relationship. Remember that people often do not end up with the first person they meet online.
Although it may seem obvious, people are rarely busy when they say they are. Sometimes, however, you will come across someone who means it when they say they are too preoccupied with work to go out with you.
Usually, the other person will make a concerted effort to reschedule with you when this happens. They may follow up their initial message with another date and time that would better suit their schedule.
These people are also more likely to apologize profusely. When they do, the best thing you can do is forgive them and let them know when you are available for another date. You can also be proactive and suggest a different venue or activity for the two of you to enjoy, something they would have a tough time saying no to. Always try to accommodate their schedule as much as your own – even meeting up for just one hour is better than not meeting up at all.
If they always tell you that they are busy no matter how many times you reschedule, it may – unfortunately – be time to move on.
There are few things worse than an empty promise, and the online dating world is full of them.
When a girl tells you that she might be free to go out with you, you should curb your expectations. Often, dates fall through for two reasons: poor timing or a lack of interest.
It could be that the girl you have asked out has a hectic schedule that constantly shifts and changes. It could also be that she is still trying to suss you out or get a better reading of you to determine whether or not you are someone she wants to be with.
Granted, when meeting someone for the first time, you should always keep your expectations in check. A good idea would be to confirm the date ahead of time to make sure she is still interested. But when a girl says that she might be free, you should take it as a sign that the two of you are unlikely to work out unless she makes an active effort to find the time to hang out with you.
If there is one thing that you should take away from this post, it is the fact that no one is ever too busy to text. Instant messaging is one of the most accessible forms of communication in the modern age, and it takes the bare minimum of effort to send someone a text.
With that in mind, when a girl tells you that she has been too busy lately to respond to your texts or to go out with you, you should take that as a sign that she is not interested in you. Even the busiest people who have some semblance of decency will let you know that they are too busy right away to save you the trouble of pursuing them.
There are, of course, exceptional circumstances that may account for someone’s lack of correspondence over an extended period of time. They could be severely mentally or emotionally troubled, or they could be in a state of grieving over the loss of a loved one.
Again, these circumstances are exceptional, and if any of them prove true, it is up to you as to whether or not you feel as though you can handle someone with so much baggage.
It is always handy to know when someone is trying to give you the slip, especially when it comes to online dating. Now that you are armed with the knowledge provided in this post, you will never again have to worry about someone’s true intentions when they tell you that they are busy.
Additionally, if you find yourself worried that your online dating profile may not be up to snuff, we offer dating profile writing services that will turn you from a zero to a hero in a flash. We also provide text message feedback which can be highly beneficial if you have been striking out lately.