The world of online dating apps and websites offers many avenues to explore, each of which is filled with meaningful connections just waiting to be made. In the case of Coffee Meets Bagel – a San Francisco-based site launched in 2012 by three sisters – this is a major selling point.
Of course, being an online dating platform, Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) can present a few challenges that can be tough to overcome for newcomers. With the help of this guide, however, we believe that your chances of finding that special someone will be that much better.
Coffee Meets Bagel differentiates itself from other sites like Tinder or Badoo in more than just its name. It is unique in that it only permits a few matches to be made per day.
This can be disconcerting for new users who may have previous experience with dating sites where the number of matches you could make directly correlated to your chances of finding a meaningful relationship.
But that is the beauty of Coffee Meets Bagel – every match you find has just as much of a chance of yielding something meaningful.
When it comes to asking someone out on Coffee Meets Bagel, it is important to first understand how the site works in order to get the most out of your correspondence with a match. Let us break it down.
Coffee Meets Bagel is so-called because you – the individual user – are known as the “Coffee,” while all your potential matches are referred to as “Bagels.” Much like real bagels, your potential matches have an expiration date – specifically, you have a 24-hour window within which to match with someone before their profile disappears.
Every day at noon, users are presented with a fresh batch of bagels. Women get more bagels than men, who only receive up to 21 bagels per day. The profiles you have access to are based upon several factors; a complex algorithm presents you with people that you are most likely to match and get along with, based upon your interests, education, social network, and many other things.
Coffee Meets Bagel further departs from the Tinder template by allowing users to include a message when they like someone’s profile. Rather than waiting to be matched with someone, you can include a brief text message to get their attention, further increasing your chance of matching by 25%. This can be a make-or-break moment for many users, so it is important that the message you include with your like is attention-grabbing and unique.
Once you have matched with someone, you are allowed to chat with them, but only for 7 days before the chat window closes. (You can reopen an expired chat with someone for 30 days if you have a premium account). This means that you should not waste any time in getting to know your matches, and ask them out as soon as the opportunity presents itself.
Of course, asking someone out can be incredibly nerve-wracking. Nothing is worse than being rejected by someone you really like, after all. Luckily, there are a few things you can do to increase your chances of receiving a “Yes” after asking out a match.
For starters, you will want to have a strong opener to kick things off. Leave the pick-up lines back at the bar. Instead, focus on immediately finding common ground between you and your match. Read through their profile and see if there is anything that you relate to. It could be that both of you attended the same university, or that you two both love pizza. Whatever it is, be sure to mention it in your first message to immediately establish a rapport.
By mentioning something that both of you have in common, you allow the conversation to develop naturally, which also allows you to get to know your match that much quicker. If you are looking for more things to say after your opening message, check out this blog post.
Your next course of action should be demonstrating the amount of time you took to read your match’s profile. This should already be partially evidenced by your opening message, but you will need to go the extra mile in order to impress them. Mention an interest of theirs and ask them about it. Why do they enjoy it so much? How did they get into it? Take the time to consider what they say, and offer your own input when necessary in order to keep the conversation going.
Showing off your knowledge of their profile is one of the best ways to demonstrate your interest, and keep them engaged as well. If you find yourself losing their interest, check out this blog-post which details more ways in which you can keep them invested in the conversation.
Finally, once the conversation has been going for a while and you are happy with the direction it has taken, suggest a time and place for the two of you to meet up. This is better done after receiving a positive response from your match. Be sure to keep it casual, and remain flexible on the date and time to accommodate their schedule.
Be open to their suggestions, and work towards finding an activity that both of you will enjoy.
Finally, once you have organized the date, it is important not to dawdle. Rather than allowing the conversation to putter out and lose its appeal, end it right after you have confirmed the date, time, and venue for your meeting. This ensures that both of you will remain interested in each other until you meet. If you are wondering what to do when meeting someone, consult this blog post for advice.
Close the conversation on a high note for maximum effectiveness.
Asking someone for their number is only slightly less intimidating than asking them out. Luckily, the same rules of engagement apply here. Think of this as an alternative to asking someone out; instead of operating within the 7-day timeframe Coffee Meets Bagel gives you, getting a match’s number allows for more conversations to be had, and more time to get to know each other before you meet.
As mentioned, you will want to follow the same steps you would when asking someone out. Open with something both of you have in common, then keep the conversation going by mentioning some of their interests in order to keep them engaged. Before you know it, you should have a good rapport with your match. When you do, you should not waste any time asking for their number.
A lot of users tend to use a cliche line when asking for someone’s number. While these may work on some people, their use is limited, and you will have more success if your message is authentic and unique. It should be simple and short as well. Do not beat around the bush; let your match know that you are interested in them, and that you would like to get to know them further after getting their number.
Keep it short and sweet for the best results.
We have already established that male users on Coffee Meets Bagel only receive up to 21 bagels per day. But what about women? Is there an exact number of bagels they receive?
The answer is less than conclusive. Because Coffee Meets Bagel is geared towards women, they only receive bagels based on who likes them. The exact number that they receive, therefore, is completely variable and differs from female user to female user.
Your bio and the pictures you include will determine how many users you attract. If you are wondering how to curate the best profile possible, refer to this blog post.
If you have matched with someone and initiated a conversation but received no response, your best course of action would be to wait at least 24 hours before trying again. The chances are that the user in question has simply logged off for the time being.
After 24 hours, try again by mentioning a topic that they have an interest in, and present them with a question that they cannot help but answer.
Alternatively, you could simply block that user and move on to find someone better.
Coffee Meets Bagel is an exciting platform for both male and female users to jump on. It presents numerous opportunities for meaningful relationships to be developed, and the 7-day limit it imposes on chats emphasizes the need to get to know your matches well. Give it a try and you may find exactly what you are looking for.