So you’ve had a nice date with a girl and are in the car about to drive home. Do you send her a “Get home safe” text, or is that the wrong move if you want another date to work out?
Here, I’ll cover the pros and cons of sending a text telling her to get home safe, how to decide whether to send one, and the best way to do so effectively.
After a date, it’s hard to know what the proper protocol is. Worry not – in most cases, sending a “Get home safe” text is a great idea. But there are some pros and cons to consider before you make the move and send a text:
- It shows you care: The number one reason to send the text is to show your date you care about her safety.
- She’ll know you’re interested: A “Get home safe” text can act as a follow-up and even spark new conversation. It also shows you want to keep talking and aren’t just finished now that the date is over. You can see in the conversation below that both parties were kind, courteous, and friendly to each other. Even though the date didn’t go as planned, the post-date text could be a conversation starter for both of them.
- It’s courteous: Aside from the good things it shows her about your personality, it’s just the right thing to do in most cases, so she feels safe.
- If she isn’t interested, she might find it needy: While unlikely, there’s a chance she’ll find the follow-up text too needy and be turned off. However, a person who is put off by a kind text message is likely not the match you’re looking for.
- If you’re not interested, it might spark a conversation you now have to continue: But, it can also be a great time to send a text where you clarify that you’d prefer to just stay friends.
Now that you know the pros and cons of sending a “Get home safely” text to your date, let’s talk about the best way to do it. I tell clients of my online dating services to use one of three strategies when sending the text:
One of the best ways to text her is not just to say, “Get home safely,” but to ask her to text you when she gets home. She’ll have a reason to text you back, taking pressure off of her to find a reason to text and it might give you a better idea of whether she’s interested. Try something like:
- Text me when you get home safely!
- Hi there! Drive safely – text me when you get home if you remember 🙂
- I just got home, let me know when you get back safely!
Along with your “Get home safe!” reminder, tell her you had a great time on the date. It’s the perfect reason to send that follow-up, “I had fun” message without overwhelming her with texts. It can be a quick text that just shows you enjoyed her company like:
- I had such a good time tonight, thanks for the wonderful convos. Text me when you get home!
- Get home safely! I’m on my way back now – just thinking about how much fun that was. Have a great rest of your night!
Telling her you had a great night like the person in the text above can also be a post-date icebreaker. Just make sure you check the text before sending so you don’t have an autocorrect malfunction like they did.
There’s no reason to send an essay unless you have something essential to say. Instead of overthinking a long, drawn-out text, just send a quick message that lets her know you care about her safety. It can be as simple as:
- Text when you get home!
- Drive safely!
- Thanks for tonight, get home safely!
Sending a “Get home safe text” shows basic texting etiquette and can even revive a conversation. I recommend to clients of my online dating services that sending a text is always the way to go.
It can give both of you the chance to let the other person know the date was fun, but you’re not interested in another one, like the pair in the conversation above.
There is no downside to sending a text because if your date thinks it’s too needy, then they’re not the right match for you. If that’s the case, it’s time to go back to Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and OkCupid and find a match that appreciates kindness and respect.
So, you sent a text that said something like, “Text me when you get home,” and she never responded. While you should consider the chance that she is ghosting you, there are other options:
Going on a date, especially with a new person, can be very tiring. She may have gotten home and been so socially exhausted that she didn’t have the energy to text you back. Wait and see if she texts back in the morning before you panic that she’s not interested.
If she lives with family or roommates, she may have started to hang out with them immediately after getting home. Again, see if she texts back within the next day to gauge her interest.
The person in the conversation got home and hung out with roommates, then forgot to text back. Her roommate let her date know, but it doesn’t mean she isn’t interested. Most likely, she’ll text him tomorrow, and they can plan another date!
Though it’s not a good strategy, she may also be playing hard to get by not texting back immediately. Look back over your past messages or texts with her to see if she usually takes a while to respond.
Some women do not appreciate chivalrous behavior. One way to see if this is the case is to check her dating profile to see if there are any jokes against it in her bio. If she texts back about something else, you’ll know she doesn’t like “Get home safe” texts for future reference.
She might also think you’re now going to go overboard by sending post-date conversation starters like the person in the conversation above. Give her time to realize you’re just chivalrous, and she might come around.
If you went on a date with a guy and he didn’t text to ask if you got home safe, it could mean three different things. First, he may not have great texting etiquette. While you know that it’s the kind thing to do to ask if you got home safe, not everyone is aware of that.
Otherwise, he may have just forgotten to send it, and he actually had a great time on your date. The last and least likely option is that he doesn’t want to see you again and is ghosting you instead. However, wait a few days to see if he texts before you assume you’re being ghosted.
Navigating the right way to text after a date is tricky for everyone, especially when you’re online dating. If you’re struggling with what to text your date, or want to get more matches and replies, explore my online dating profile services.
I can help craft your perfect online dating profile so you match with people that will appreciate a post-date “Get home safely” text. Learn more about my services and how to have the best online dating experience here.