Should I text a guy who rejected me: Woman sitting in a public area looking at her smartphone.

Should I Text a Guy Who Rejected Me? (Proven Dating Tips)

You’re experiencing all the classic crush symptoms: butterflies, constant thoughts, and interpreting flirty behavior. Summoning courage, you express your feelings, only to hear, ‘I don’t see you that way.’ Whether it’s your first rejection or not, being turned down hurts every time.

While no one can deny that being rejected by someone fills you with dread and awkwardness, making it feel like the end of the world, it’s important not to measure your self-worth based on these unfortunate events. So, should you text a guy who rejected you and how do you handle it? Read on to find out.

Should I Text a Guy Who Rejected Me?

To determine whether you should text someone who rejected you depends on three important factors:

1. How He Rejects You

Are you sure he rejected you? How clearly did he express his feelings? Or is he still sending mixed signals? The following conversation is a prime example of mixed signals. The guy isn’t outright rejecting the girl, but he also isn’t enthusiastic about meeting up. It’s understandable why the recipient would be confused about his true intentions.

Text conversation where a woman asks a man to dinner and he says it sounds great but turns her down because he's busy.

People often say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus because we sometimes struggle to understand each other. Even though the text might sting at first, try reading it again objectively.

Did he reject you in person? Through text? Did he send the message through a mutual friend? Or is he simply not picking up your calls or receiving your messages anymore? Has he blocked your dating profile from all your mutual dating apps?

Whether he’s ghosting you or has clearly stated his thoughts, it determines if, when, and how you should or shouldn’t text him. When deciding how to react, my advice is to always observe the person’s actions rather than just their words. They may be super sweet over text, but if they’re acting distant or making excuses about meeting up, chances are they’re not interested. I’ve encountered many girls who express how much they miss me and want to see me, but when I suggest meeting up or scheduling a date, they go silent and disappear. In the past, I would have been confused by these mixed signals, but now I have enough experience to realize they’re likely just seeking attention or are bored.

In Korea, this is known as ‘feeding the fish.’ You want to feed the fish enough to keep them hungry so that they stick around and keep coming back. It’s not uncommon for girls to be messaging multiple guys at the same time to keep them interested and to see who the best suitors are until they find a boyfriend. In this scenario, the guys are the fish, and you want to give them nibbles of food or attention to keep them sticking around.

How should you act around a guy who rejected you? Find out!

2. How You Feel About the Rejection

How you feel about being rejected will also change your messaging or texting etiquette. You may want to keep dragging the conversation about wanting to build a relationship with him. You might want to keep soft ghosting his attempts to maintain a friendship with you.

When someone rejects you, it can sting and upset you. However, you have to monitor your body language and reaction and ensure that you don’t spill your guts out. It’s a good idea to take time for reflection because appearing filled with anxiety and low self-esteem can rush you into undesirable actions.

Text conversation where the man says he just wants to be friends with the woman and she goes a little crazy.

As evident from the text conversation above, the individual took the rejection personally, exacerbating the situation unnecessarily.

Chasing after him will only make you appear more desperate, and you may also end up making him feel guilty for rejecting you. So if you fear that you’re riding an emotional roller coaster, then you should hold off responding until you’re more composed, especially if you’re having a difficult time coping with rejection. Remember, finding healthy ways to cope with rejection is crucial for your mental health. The last thing you want is to go into a funk and fall into depression, right?

3. How You Both Want to Proceed

It’s normal to have some dry texting after the initial encounter. Both of you might want to clear the air and understand each other’s viewpoints. However, the ultimate question is about how you want to take things forward.

Are you two still going to be friends like you used to be? Does he wish to stop texting you for some time? Or do you want to be honest and continue your efforts to win him over? Examine your feelings and priorities, then proceed accordingly, keeping in mind what’s best for your emotional well-being.

Whatever your ultimate decision, you’ll need to consider if, how, and how much to text him. As a profile writer and dating coach, I understand the frustration of not knowing the right words for these conversations. So, if you’re struggling with ‘Should I say this’ and ‘Should I say that,’ I offer feedback on dating app texting, and I can help you resolve this dilemma! After all, having a relationship expert on your side is never a bad thing.

What Does it Mean if He Rejected Me But Still Flirts?

Guys can be weird. Even the ones you’re super close to are sometimes so confusing and unreadable! So if your crush has rejected you but continues to reach out to you, then it’s quite likely that he may be flirting with you. It’s natural to wonder about his intentions because of his mixed signals. You might be asking yourself whether this guy wants a girlfriend or if he simply friend-zoned you and now sees you as one of his guy friends.

This can have multiple meanings:

He’s Actually Into You: I know, I know. It’s annoying to see someone tell you off and then make a U-turn, but sometimes we have to make peace with this absurd behavior.

He’s a Late Riser: After turning you down, he will probably start being touchy about why your texts are so short, why you disappear after a few messages, or something similar. This means that he has given it a second thought after turning you down and has since started to like you back.

He’s Making Fun of You: If he isn’t into you but respects you as a friend, then he won’t flirt to hurt you. But if he isn’t looking to get committed and is still flirting, then that’s just messed up. He’s laughing, and yes, it’s the safest to block him then and there!

He’s Jealous: If you try to move on or make friends with other guys, he’ll want to know if he still has the same special place in your heart or if you’ve handed it over to someone else. Hence the flirting works as a litmus test!

He’s Just Playing Around: Sometimes, guys might flirt or continue reaching out after rejecting you simply because they enjoy the attention or the thrill of the chase. They may not have serious intentions and could be treating the interaction as a game. This behavior can be confusing and hurtful, as it may give false hope to the person being pursued. In such cases, it’s important to recognize the signs and set boundaries to protect your emotions. You’re worthy of someone who respects you and doesn’t waste your time.

Why Would a Guy Reject You If He Likes You?

I know one thing for certain – relationships are complicated. One week, you’re both spending hours searching for new, unique openers on CMB or trying to become each other’s perfect match in online dating. The next week, you’re wondering why he’s having such a dry conversation with you!

If you’re left wondering, “Why did he reject me if he likes me,” the simplest thing that I can tell you is this: liking each other isn’t enough to date or commit in any way. That’s a bitter truth to digest, but I’m sure these hints and pointers below will help you understand why:

1. Perhaps He Isn’t Ready to Commit:

He can have thousands of reasons that he just doesn’t want to tell you yet. Maybe he has been in a really bad relationship recently. Maybe he’s battling an illness. Maybe he’s healing from some other loss. In any case, chances are that he’s emotionally unavailable, so he wants to play it safe by altogether rejecting you. Of course, this will also keep you from getting hurt by a half-hearted relationship partner!

2. Is He With Someone?

Liking a new person isn’t a sin if you’re already with someone, right? Maybe he is actually with someone, or even married, and you don’t know about it. Perhaps the person he’s currently with isn’t who he wants, and he might feel trapped in that situation for some reason! As you can see, there are a lot of possibilities that are outside of your control.

3. Did He Reject Me Because He is Insecure?

God, yes, I can’t emphasize this enough! Even the wittiest, prettiest, and most interested girls can face rejection. Why? Because sometimes, the guy feels like she’s “too good for him” or that he “doesn’t deserve her.” It’s a strange but very real reason why girls get rejected by guys who like them. It could stem from past bad experiences or low self-esteem. Sometimes, all it takes is a little patience.

I’m guilty of this myself, particularly when I was 13 and in 8th grade. Yes, I know, that was a long time ago. There was a girl in my class who told me her friend liked me and wanted to go to the school dance with me. I remember seeing her, and although she was super cute, I declined because I was shy and wasn’t ready. Weeks later, when I finally felt ready, I decided to ask her out to the dance. But by then, she had already moved on. This goes to show that timing is crucial. You have to be ready when the opportunity arises, or you might miss your chance.

I Miss the Guy Who Rejected Me: What To Do

It’s alright to miss an old Tinder match who turned you down or even to miss someone who you’ve barely talked to but still like. It isn’t possible to rationalize your feelings if someone rejects you. You can’t unlike them use an On/Off button. However, I have a few tips you may practice to not worsen the situation any further!

1. If you’re on talking terms with him, just make sure that your rejection isn’t brought up too much since that can wound you even more. It’ll also make him feel guilty for something that isn’t his fault!

2. Try to convince yourself to move on and find someone new. Who knows, maybe there’s someone much better out there!

3. Get the closure you need. If the guy you like is willing to let you pour your heart out (and if you trust him with that), then go ahead. A great example is the conversation below, where the person wants to get the closure they need. However, they approach the topic respectfully, keeping in mind the other person’s boundaries.

Text chat where the man needs to work through personal issues. He says he's ready to talk and asks the woman to meet up.

Or else, you can talk to a friend, get counseling, or just take a few days off for self-care. Whatever sails your boat!


In conclusion, navigating the aftermath of rejection can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that your self-worth is not defined by someone else’s response. Whether you choose to reach out to a guy who rejected you or move forward with grace, consider your feelings, intentions, and emotional well-being.

Remember, relationships are complex, and sometimes rejection is not a reflection of your worth but rather of external circumstances or the other person’s insecurities. My aim with this post is to offer guidance in handling rejection and moving forward confidently in your dating life.

If you need further assistance or advice on navigating these situations, feel free to reach out. Whether you’re seeking to understand more about texting etiquette, improve your dating profile, or enhance your online dating success, I’m here to help. Wishing you all the best in your journey to finding fulfilling connections!

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