How To Ask For A Date: A man and woman smiling at each other sitting at a table on a date drinking smoothies and eating burgers.

How To Ask For A Date Online (And Get a “Yes!” Every Time)

Looking for love online can be a nerve-wracking task for even the bravest of individuals. However, once you’ve found someone with excellent compatibility and chemistry, you must get to know them more. You don’t have to be a relationship expert to know that the only way to change your relationship status is by taking the leap and spending time with your crush. 

But the rewards are definitely worth taking the risk and having the courage to ask for that first date. If you’re unsure of how to ask someone on a date on a dating app or online, we’ve put together a short guide for you that will help you solve this dilemma that has your heart racing!

How To Ask For A Date Online and on Dating Apps

A young girl smiles as she checks her phone, with her laptop on her lap while sitting on a sofa.


To ensure a positive outcome, you should keep a few things in mind before asking someone out online or on a dating app. Every dating coach will recommend a few basic dating secrets to get the most out of your online dating experience.

Firstly, you have to gauge the timing, as it is key in these situations. A message sent at the right time is more likely to get a response than one sent too early or too late. The “right time” depends on the flow of the conversation and what you are talking about. I recommend asking for a date after you have built some rapport and gotten to know each other. This can take 2-3 days.

Make sure your conversations with this person are going smoothly, and ask the question when it feels most natural. Start the conversation with a witty yet inviting and warm message and follow through with the casual conversation. Avoid topics that could land you in hot waters. Politics is especially tricky and should be avoided at all costs. Here is an example of what not to do: 

Text conversation with one person asking the other when they can have a Mexican food date, and the other says they hate Mexican food.

In the text above, the person has good intentions, but the text backfires. This happens because you’re not really aware of the other person and their situation.

If you’re unsure about how to have a successful and fruitful conversation with someone online, be sure to check out our article.

Once you’ve got a good flow going and are getting subtle signs that the other person may also be interested in you, suggest a meetup. A good example of how to ask someone for a date is this: 

Text conversation with one person asking the other on a date by stating the time and day.

This is a great way to ask someone out. It incorporates some humor and doesn’t come across as being too strong either.

You are more likely to get a positive response by keeping things casual – it takes the pressure off and is more relaxed. It is important to give them a choice for the place and timing. This gesture will show the other person that you are flexible and caring enough to consider their needs and wants.

Once you know their schedule and hobbies, I recommend giving them a couple of date ideas. If they enjoy live music, suggest a concert. Another option to make the first date even more relaxed is inviting some mutual friends, which may put you both at ease and relieve some of the nervousness. 

For example:

“Do you have time this week on Friday at 8 pm or Saturday afternoon after 6 pm? I know this really cool Jazz bar that plays amazing music that we should check out. I know you love Jazz.”


“Do you have time this Saturday night at 7 pm? There’s a cool exhibit at the art gallery, and it looks interesting. I’m thinking about checking it out.”

Ask open-ended questions, but don’t leave things up in the air, and make sure you set a date, time, and place for your date. By following this messaging etiquette, you are bound to leave the conversation with a date every Friday night. 

However, if your efforts seem to be going in vain, and you are on the verge of blocking someone because they keep ignoring you or replying very late, read this article before pressing the block button.

How to Ask Someone to Meet Online

A young couple is laughing and chatting at a cafe, while the young lady holds a cup with streamers in the background.


When you are exchanging messages with someone, they have an ulterior motive in mind and aren’t only looking for friendship, a boyfriend, or a girlfriend. Just like you, they are there to change their relationship status. So, if they don’t get the desired response from you, they just might move on to the next best match. Therefore, it is important to first gauge someone’s feelings towards you and then make a move at the right time.

Take cautious steps during your first few conversations, and don’t act too familiar – although banter is good, insensitivity is definitely not. Always avoid insensitive humor that could instantly get you blocked, for example, the person below.

Text conversation between two people, one saying they're getting a service dog for depression, and the other replying that they're one of "those" people.

The conversation above is a good example of insensitive humor and will lead to you needing therapy and seeing therapists rather than getting a date with your crush. Never joke about serious medical conditions until you’ve had a chance to get to know your crush and you know that you share a similar sense of humor. 

If you believe that you have built a good rapport quickly and that the other person is also showing signs of interest, now would be as good a time as any to take this relationship forward.

However, if you’re not getting replies on time and feel there is still some time before the other person is comfortable enough to respond to your offer, holding off on asking someone out online may be a good idea.

If you’re confused about why you’re not getting replies and are worried about what that could mean, check out the linked article to figure out what you’re doing wrong. On the other hand, if someone has rejected your offer for a date or has friendzoned you but continues texting, you need to figure out their true intentions.”

Is it Better to Ask Someone On A Date Online or In-Person?

A couple is having tea on the cafe patio outside while the young lady looks deep into her partner's eyes while holding his wrist.


The dating world can be a terrifying place. Not only do you need to find a person you are attracted to, who shares some of your interests and seems to like you back, but you also have to ask this person out. To make them your boyfriend or girlfriend, you need to make the first move and ask them out on that first date. And this brings you to the perpetual question of how to ask someone on a date. The modern world brings modern ways of dating, and now the question is: Do I ask that special someone out face-to-face, or do I hide behind the screen and do it digitally?

Both methods have pros and cons, and considering them will give you more options and perhaps a little clarity on how to ask someone for a date. 

Asking Someone Out In-Person:

If you seek genuine connection, face-to-face interactions are the way to go. Using the in-person approach to asking someone out demands more than simply using words. There is no hiding behind a screen, and the fear of rejection may be too much for some people to handle. But this approach can be far more effective than any other because of the potential depth of the interaction it brings. The real world brings eye contact, body language, closeness, and intimacy that the digital world lacks.

Asking Someone Out Over the Phone:

Another method of how to ask for a date is over the phone. This method is a bridge between the modern and traditional dating world. It’s not quite as personal as asking a girl on a date in person, but it’s also not as impersonal as simply sending a text. It’s a real-time exchange that brings with it some personal nuances.

If you’re wondering how to ask a girl out on a date over the phone, you can convey your sincerity and genuine desire to date the person with your tone of voice. This approach allows you to build a truer sense of connection with the person, making the interaction more meaningful. This method is perhaps the best for someone who has nervousness around their crush but would like to add a more personal touch to the entire interaction. 

Asking Someone Out Over Text:

Modern communication has turned into texting, and this is even more true for the dating world, especially if you think about digital dating platforms like Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, and Tinder. Asking someone out over text has become an art form and can be the easiest way if you have a bit of anxiety and don’t have the courage to take a more personal approach. The best thing about this approach is that you don’t even need the person’s phone number to make the first move. Text messages can now be sent over social media as well. Some people prefer to be asked out with a text message because it gives them the time to process and respond at their own pace. They don’t feel rushed, and it takes the pressure off the entire interaction. 

Asking Someone Out on an Online Dating Website or App:

If you are still wondering how to ask someone to meet, using the online dating platform where the initial connection began is another convenient method. Once you have built a rapport with a person, it is quite easy to ask them whether they would be interested in meeting up and spending time together. The benefit of using a dating app is that the person is also looking for a change in relationship status, and the question will not take them by surprise. 

Extra Tips When Asking Someone Out:

  • Don’t overthink it: Overthinking can come in the way of spontaneity. To ensure the connection is more authentic, keep it simple and don’t complicate matters. 
  • Keep it clear and simple: Clarity is very important for effective communication. To increase your chances of getting a positive response, make your intentions clear. Do not beat around the bush. 
  • Be yourself: Make sure that you let your own personality shine through. Use your sense of humor, your quirks, and your uniqueness to attract a date. 
  • If you’re asking with a text, consider the response: This will tell you how excited your potential date is. 
  • If you’re asking face-to-face, open with small talk: Start casual and make sure that the person you’re planning to ask out is comfortable. 

Is Online Dating For Serious Relationships?

A young couple on the beach together, looking at the sunset, creating a heart shape with their hands against the sun.


Any romantic interaction has risks of being unsuccessful in the long run. However, a few things may hint towards long-term success if you pay enough attention to notice them. Dating websites have a lot of people looking for love, and you’re sure to find a boyfriend or girlfriend without using a matchmaker. 

The best thing about such websites is that they have an algorithm to find you the best possible match according to their database. Since the profile requires one to answer thought-provoking questions with detailed answers, someone who fills these out is likelier to look for something serious.

A section in the dating bio also asks individuals what they’re looking for, and most people are upfront about whether they would prefer something casual or a long-term serious relationship. This is crucial. You must also be clear about what you’re looking for in a partner. Do you want someone who can go to the gym with you? Or someone to just stay home and watch movies with you? Maybe someone with shared interests like anime or K-pop? Or perhaps someone who loves pets. Remember to state all of this in your bio!

When looking on a dating app or online, also remember to read other people’s bios! Many people tend to judge just by pictures, but someone’s bio can tell you all you need to know about your match. So, don’t skip out on the bios next time.

Another great way to determine a person’s true intentions is by simply asking them. Although chances are they may only sometimes be truthful in their answer, you will be making your stance clear. People not on the same page will likely come clean sooner than later.

Here’s an in-depth guide on how to boost your visibility on OkCupid.

What if You’re Nervous To Meet Someone From Online Dating

Flirting online aside, meeting someone in the real world is nothing short of frightening, and nervousness is understandable. A million questions may be running through your mind before your first date, such as, what if they don’t like me? Or what if they’re not who they pretended to be online? Are they keeping any secrets that could ruin the attraction that you feel? 

If you’re wondering about how to ask someone on a date, a myriad of security concerns follow these questions. Although these concerns are valid, they are also hindrances to you having a great date and an excellent relationship. However, there are a few steps you can take to ensure your safety:

  • Ask a friend to keep tabs on you while you’re on the date
  • Send a friend your trackable location so that they can track you till the date ends
  • Have emergency contacts on speed dial
  • Do not meet someone new alone in an isolated area
  • Don’t ask your date to pick you up or drop you off in the first few meetings
  • Ask for help from waiters or bartenders if you feel threatened

If you still suffer from anxiety after taking all precautions, then you could just be suffering from the jitters about meeting someone new. This is a normal and common response to meeting someone you like for the first time. However, you must not let it get in the way of having a good time and getting to that second date. 

Meeting people online may be nerve-wracking, but it’s an exciting opportunity to make new friends that could bud into something more. Being nervous is completely normal, but enjoy the process! The worst thing that could happen when you message someone online is not getting a response – and that’s not the end of the world!

Here are 3 texts that you must send after your first date. 

What To Ask On A First Date From a Dating App

A mixed-race couple looks happily at each other as they sit outside, while the lady holds a hotdog.


When you successfully score a date, there are a few questions you should prepare beforehand to ensure the event goes smoothly. Make use of the below questions list for some great suggestions on what to ask to keep the conversation flowing. 

Fun yet simple questions that can give you some insight into your date’s likes and dislikes include the commonly asked questions of whether they like or dislike horror movies if they have traveled alone in any other country, and if they consider it fun to leave everything behind and simply live on a sailboat!

Here are some common questions you can ask:

  • What’s your favorite movie genre?
  • Have you ever traveled alone?
  • What country have you always wanted to visit?
  • What’s your favorite food?
  • Do you have a pet peeve?
  • What’s on your bucket list?
  • What’s the craziest thing you have done this year?

These lighthearted questions not only provide something to laugh about but can also predict whether you are compatible with your date.

Final Thoughts

Dating websites such as Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, and OkCupid are excellent places to match with like-minded individuals with whom you can form a connection. However, if you’re serious about having a relationship, you must ask them out on a date, so don’t be discouraged and pop the question!

If you want to improve your dating life, get better matches, and learn the art of “how to ask for a date,” you’ve come to the right place! As a professional dating profile ghostwriter, I can help you create an excellent dating profile that will get you numerous instant replies! And if you’re looking for text messaging or conversation coaching, can do that for you, too! Get in touch 🙂

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