How to ask a girl to hang out without sounding like a date: a couple chats and has coffee by the café window.

How to Ask a Girl to Hang Out (Without It Sounding Like a Date)

Navigating social cues can be a tricky task, especially in the world of online dating on platforms like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and many others. Newcomers often find themselves caught up in awkward situations. Fortunately, avoiding these situations is entirely possible—as long as you understand how to conduct yourself.

Nevertheless, grasping the nuances of etiquette on dating sites like Tinder can still pose challenges, so it’s important to proceed with care. This guide will teach you how to ask someone to hang out without sounding like a date. Armed with this knowledge, you’ll be able to ease the initial awkwardness of meeting someone new and engage with candor and confidence instead.

How to Ask Someone to Hang Out Without Sounding Like a Date

A female and a male coworker sit on the steps outside for a break while she takes a drink, and he eats his lunch.


Asking a girl to hang out platonically might seem counterintuitive if your ultimate goal is romantic dating. However, there are compelling reasons why establishing a friendship first can significantly enhance your chances of long-term success.

While dating apps like Tinder often encourage swift interactions, once you’ve exchanged numbers and gained a better understanding of the person, things can naturally slow down. At this juncture, you may realize that the individual you’ve been conversing with might not be your ideal match.

Still, it never hurts to make new friends. To this end, it’s crucial to know how to ask someone to hang out platonically. Approach this with a casual demeanor and a prearranged activity in mind. For instance, you could say:

“I’m planning to do something this weekend. Would you like to join me?”

If things start to become ambiguous, there’s no harm in being transparent about your intentions.

Find out if girls like getting asked out.

How to Ask a Girl to Hang Out:

A young male and a female are having drinks outside at a cafe, laughing about something.


Follow these tips when asking a girl to hang out:

1. Be Casual

The initial step is straightforward in theory but requires finesse in practice. To ask someone out platonically, maintain a casual and friendly approach.

The definition of casual varies for each person, so there’s no one-size-fits-all script. However, you can increase your chances by proposing the idea in a relaxed environment with some other people around. Being in a casual setting tends to dispel any romantic notions, so there’s no need to wait for a private moment to ask.

The definition of casual varies for each person, so there’s no one-size-fits-all script. However, you can increase your chances by proposing the idea in a relaxed environment with some other people around. Being in a casual setting tends to dispel any romantic notions, so there’s no need to wait for a private moment to ask.

This advice may not apply in online settings. If you’re asking someone out on OkCupid, Tinder, or another dating app, seize the right moment in your conversation. Keep your message concise and straightforward. Avoid using romantic emojis, ensuring that your intentions remain clearly platonic. For example, here is how to ask a girl out for coffee:

“I would love to get to know you better. Do you have time this Thursday or Friday evening for a coffee? I know this great place downtown.”

A text message where someone asks the other if they have plans for Saturday and if they would like to hang out, with the other person confirming.

Learn more about asking your crush out without appearing desperate.

2. Have an Activity or Venue in Mind

Merely asking someone to hang out without specifying an activity or location often leads to uncertainty and potential plan cancellations. Having a particular activity and venue in mind can prevent this. Include these details in your initial message or early in the conversation if you’re asking in person. Activities could range from attending a concert or going on a hike, to visiting a jazz bar or an art gallery.

A text conversation in which one person mentions having concert tickets and invites the other person, who confirms.

Discover more first-date ideas in my comprehensive online dating success guide.

3. Be Clear About Your Intentions

While it may seem bold at first, being upfront about your intentions can ease the initial encounter’s tension and create a more comfortable atmosphere for both parties. Maintain politeness and friendliness when conveying your intentions.

If directly stating your intentions feels too forward, you could suggest inviting friends along. This can dispel any doubts about the nature of your plans, at least for the time being. For example, here is how to ask a girl to hang out over text without making it awkward:

In a text exchange, one person invites the other to hang out on Saturday, with the other person confirming, and a clarification that it's not a date.

If you met on a dating site, your intentions should already be apparent. If you’re interested in a romantic connection, it’s not necessary to explicitly state it. Expressing that you find them attractive and want to get to know them better should suffice.

Where is a Good Spot to Hang Out With a Girl?

A young couple sits facing away on a green lawn, watching an event outdoors on a sunny day, with people in the distance.


Wondering where to spend quality time with someone? Now that you’ve mastered the art of asking someone out, you might be in search of exciting ideas for activities and venues to enjoy together as friends. Fortunately, there’s a plethora of hangout dates for you both, whether it’s going hiking or rock climbing, attending a concert, or even watching a movie together (as long as it’s the right movie, of course).

Go Hiking or Rock Climbing

There is nothing like the smell of damp sweat to dispel any romantic notions.

Hiking and rock climbing are both fantastic activities to share with a friend. They not only offer a great workout but also lack opportunities for tension (romantic or otherwise) to build up. When awkwardness starts creeping in, simply focus on scaling the next rock or ascending the next hill.

Moreover, these activities are typically budget-friendly, if not entirely free. Many hiking and rock climbing venues also offer group discounts, providing a perfect excuse to invite more friends along (thus warding off awkwardness) and saving some cash.

Go to a Concert

Concert venues are bustling with loud music and crowds, making them an ideal destination for friends.

While attending a concert can be costly depending on your location, if you happen to snag a couple of tickets, it promises a great time. The high volume in these venues leaves little room for conversation, sparing you from potentially awkward discussions.

Afterward, if you would like to get to know your friend a little more, you can visit the food stalls or an ice cream shop. Just be cautious about steering the conversation into sensitive areas.

Go to a Movie

Contrary to what romantic comedies may suggest, watching a movie with someone is actually a rather unromantic choice—perfect for a platonic outing.

Opt for a movie that interests both of you; comedies and action films are typically safe choices, while romantic dramas might be best avoided. This activity is more enjoyable when you’ve already gotten to know each other better, even if your relationship remains strictly platonic.

Of course, there are numerous other places you can take your friend, but venues with bustling atmospheres tend to work best in warding off any potential awkwardness.

How to Act When Asking a Girl to Hang Out as Friends

A male and a female sit at a patio outside, having coffee while taking notes and discussing something.


Navigating a non-romantic setting can be challenging, particularly if either of you has given off the vibe of wanting something more than friendship. Fortunately, with the right attitude and demeanor, you can steer clear of any unnecessary tension.

The key here is to keep it casual, and this starts with how to ask a girl to hang out as friends. Just because the person you’re spending time with happens to be someone you’re attracted to doesn’t mean you need to alter your behavior compared to how you interact with any other friends.

In general, try to avoid asking too many generic questions. Instead, focus on getting to know them on a deeper level when you invite them to hang out as friends. Inquire about their opinions on various topics or discover their preferences regarding movies, food, books, places, and more. Additionally, maintain an appropriate physical distance and refrain from unnecessary touching. This might seem like a small detail, but you’d be surprised how often people unconsciously cross this boundary with their friends. Here are some example questions you can ask:

  1. Where have you traveled recently?
  2. What destinations are on your travel wish list for the future?
  3. What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?
  4. Describe your idea of a perfect day.
  5. When you were just five years old, what did you dream of becoming?

For an even more intriguing conversation, consider these broader and thought-provoking questions:

  1. If you had only 24 hours to live, what would you choose to do?
  2. If you could meet anyone, whether alive or deceased, who would you want to meet?
  3. Imagine you won a million dollars – how would you go about spending it?

What it Means if You Hang Out With Someone Alone

Spending one-on-one time with someone doesn’t inherently suggest a romantic connection. However, if you’ve initiated a meet-up after connecting on a dating app, and she has agreed to meet you in person, it’s a positive indication that she’s interested in getting to know you better.

It’s crucial to approach these situations as if you’re among friends. Avoid the temptation to alter your behavior to appear more appealing, a common mistake many people make. Instead, present yourself authentically, offering a clear and unfiltered picture of who you are and what you seek.

Reasons to Consider Before Asking Someone Out

Despite the guidance we’ve provided, you might still have reservations about inviting someone to hang out platonically—and these concerns are not entirely unfounded.

There are a few valid reasons to think twice about asking someone out, even as friends. Firstly, if the person you’re interested in is already in a committed relationship, their available time is likely dominated by their significant other. Engaging in a friendship under such circumstances can lead to unnecessary complications and discomfort.

A text conversation in which one person asks if the other wants to hang out and go to a gallery, with the other person declining because they have a boyfriend.

Another critical factor to consider is the level of familiarity you share with the individual. You might be casual acquaintances, but until you’ve gotten to know them better, it’s wise to exercise caution.

Final Thoughts

In wrapping up, I hope this guide has shed light on some of the questions you may have had regarding how to ask a girl to hang out and how to go about hanging out platonically or as friends. As you can see, inviting someone to spend time together in a romantic and non-romantic context is not as daunting as it may initially appear. While there’s still room for missteps, maintaining a casual approach should help you steer clear of any awkwardness or tension.

For those seeking more dating advice, don’t forget to explore our comprehensive Online Dating Success Guide, brimming with valuable tips and strategies to enhance your dating experience. Furthermore, if you’re looking to enhance your online dating profile, take a glance at our online dating profile writing services. We also offer text messaging coaching to ensure your conversational skills remain sharp.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *