There are many reasons why a girl may say ‘let me get back to you’ or ‘let me come back to you’ when messaging. She could be genuinely busy, uninterested, or just forgetful!
Read on to find out why a girl may be responding to your text messages in this way, and what you can do to find out whether she is ghosting you intentionally!
When a Girl Says ‘Let Me Get Back to You’
There are a number of reasons why a girl says ‘let me get back to you’ in a text conversation. She could be busy, forgetful, anxious about responding, uninterested in continuing messaging, trying to seem busy, or have found someone else. When a girl says ‘let me get back to you’, this doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t want to pursue the conversation!
In this example, the text asking ‘what you up to on Tuesday night??’ was followed up with another text to try to get a response quickly. This should be avoided as it can come off as impatient and passive-aggressive.
When a Girl Says ‘Let Me Get Back to You’: What Does it Mean?
It can be difficult to tell whether a girl is still interested in talking to you if she replies with ‘let me get back to you’. This can mean a number of things.
She is busy doing something else
The first reason why a girl might say ‘let me get back to you’ during a dying conversation via text message is that she is genuinely too busy to chat. It might be that she has a lot on her plate at work or college, is spending time with family or friends, or is doing something else that means she isn’t on her phone at the moment.
Learn how to text a busy woman here.
She has forgotten
Another reason why a girl says she’ll text you but you haven’t heard back from her yet is because she has forgotten. Maybe she had a call from a friend that distracted her attention away from the conversation, or perhaps she remembered a task she had to complete. Unless this happens very frequently, you shouldn’t read into it too much. A simple text should suffice to remind her of the text messages.
She is over-thinking her responses
Stalling a response to a text message by saying ‘let me get back to you’ could be a way for her to take some more time to think about a response. If a girl has certain anxieties about texting, then it may be that she wants to carefully craft a response when you’ve asked her out on a date on OkCupid or another dating site, in order to give off the right impression. In this case, it’s best not to hurry her along as this may be off-putting.
She isn’t interested
On the contrary, another reason why she might be stalling her responses to your text messages could be because she just isn’t interested and doesn’t know how to tell you. Not replying to your messages or saying ‘let me get back to you’ could mean that she doesn’t view the conversations as a priority, and therefore might not be interested in pursuing a relationship.
She wants to seem busy and successful
Another less common reason why a girl might be putting off replying to you is that she is trying to appear busy. Taking a while to reply to messages, or delaying a response may be a way of showing you that they are successful at work or have a busy social and family life.
She has found someone else
It could be that a girl has simply found someone else if she is responding to text messages in a conversation with ‘let me get back to you’. This probably means that it’ll be in both of your best interests to go your different ways. Don’t take this too personally, she has probably just found someone who was a better match for her and her lifestyle! This ultimately means that she isn’t right for you.
‘Let Me Come Back’ Meaning
What does it mean when a girl says ‘let me come back to you’ when messaging? This phrase indicates that she doesn’t have a response to your question at the moment, but will respond at a later time.
If she says this in response to you asking her out on a date via a conversation on OkCupid or another dating site, this doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t like you, isn’t interested, or that she’s found someone else, although our minds do tend to assume the worst!
It could simply mean that she is extremely busy with work and family life, often forgets to respond to messages, or is trying to seem like she has a very full and busy life. She may be genuinely very busy, with lots of work and social engagements to fit the date around. She also may be on the go, without a calendar near her, or very forgetful. This doesn’t mean that she isn’t interested in pursuing the conversation!
In this example, it’s likely that the girl really is busy. However, it might be good to avoid sending more reminder messages so that she doesn’t get overwhelmed or feel like you are pestering her for an answer.
If you find that a girl is saying ‘let me come back to you’ very frequently, it may be a sign that she isn’t interested in continuing to text and doesn’t know how to tell you. This can be quite difficult to judge, but a simple text to ask her if she has any intention of setting a date may be enough to confirm.
If you find that you are often the one to start the conversation and she takes a while to respond or delays her responses, this may be another indication that she is not interested.
Learn when you should stop texting a girl here.
‘Let Me Get Back to You on that’ Meaning
If you’re texting a girl and you’re worried about her message, ‘let me get back to you on that’, don’t be! There could be many reasons why she is texting this, and not all of them are bad!
Justifiable reasons for a girl texting ‘let me get back to you on that’:
- She is very busy with work, family, or her social life;
- She is anxious about replying with the wrong thing so is calculated with her responses;
- She is taking time to decide whether to pursue the conversation with you;
- She is trying to appear busy and successful; or
- She is forgetful.
None of these reasons mean that you should call things off with her, it may just be that she is in a particularly busy stage of her life where responses may take longer. If it is hurting your feelings, you can always drop her a message to see if there’s a reason that she is always so busy.
If this happens time and time again, there may be another underlying reason why she sends texts like ‘let me get back to you on that’ or ‘let me come back to you’, for example:
- She has lost interest in the conversation;
- She has found someone else; or
- She isn’t interested in pursuing a relationship.
If this happens, try not to take it personally. It’s unlikely that you did anything to cause this; it’s more likely that she realized that you are not what she is looking for, she has found someone more suited to her personality and her lifestyle, or that she has decided not to enter into a relationship at all. Don’t dwell on it, pick yourself up and get back out there!
In this conversation, the guy has reacted negatively to the girl saying she doesn’t want to continue dating. Try to remember that it isn’t personal; at the end of the day, dating is as much about finding the right person for them as it is the right person for you.
How to Respond When a Girl Says ‘Let Me Get Back to You’
There are a number of ways you can respond to a girl saying ‘let me get back to you’, depending on how frequently this happens and what you want the outcome to be. Not getting replies on OkCupid or another dating site can be demoralizing, so here are some ways of responding to a girl who is postponing a response.
Suggesting other options
If a girl is hesitant to respond to a message about a potential date or is ghosting you, then giving her options is often a way to get a quicker response. If you say something like:
- “Do you want to go out on Friday night? If this doesn’t work for you, I’m around next weekend too”
- “Let me know if you want to do next week instead”
- “I know a great place for a Friday or Saturday night, let me know what works best for you!”
Making your feelings known
If this girl is a serial delayer and you often get messages from her like ‘let me get back to you’, then it’s probably best to make her aware that this is hurtful. She’ll either apologize and try to improve her response time if she wants to continue the conversation, or she’ll take it as an opportunity to end the conversation, in which case she wasn’t right for you anyway. Say something along the lines of:
- “It’s hurtful when you take so long to reply to me. It often feels like I’m being ignored”
- “Do you not want to speak to me?”
- “I appreciate that you’re busy but it hurts my feelings when you don’t reply to my messages”
Retaliation
If you’re unsure whether a girl truly is as busy as she says she is or whether she is ghosting you, then you can always try a retaliation tactic. When she sends you a message don’t respond immediately, in fact, wait a day or two to respond. If she messages again to ask for a response then say something like:
- “Sorry, I’ve also been busy lately”
- “Ahh, so it’s ok when you take ages to reply?”
If she doesn’t chase your message then she might not be prioritizing your text messages, and it may be time to assess whether it’s worth pursuing. In general, it isn’t recommended to use tactics or to react negatively to her texts. It makes you look bad, so it’s best to move on if they don’t reply after 2-3 attempts.
Giving space
If you know that a girl is genuinely busy, then if she really does like you, she will eventually respond. This isn’t necessarily a reflection on your personality, but rather of her priorities. Giving her some space may be just what she needs in order to decide whether you’re a compatible match.
Letting the girl know that it is upsetting when you are ignored isn’t a sign of weakness; it shows that you care and are wanting something more for the relationship!
In conclusion, a girl texting ‘let me get back to you’ doesn’t necessarily mean that she isn’t interested in pursuing the conversation and relationship. She could be really busy at work, have a busy social life, tend to forget things, or just be an anxious texter. Having said that, if a girl is frequently delaying responding to your messages or questions about a future date then it might be best to let her know that your feelings are hurt by her actions.
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