How to Respond if a Girl is Busy

How to Respond When a Girl Says She Is Busy (What To Do)

Online dating requires a lot of patience. Depending on your goals, it could take weeks to find someone special to talk to. And once you have found them, an entirely new challenge presents itself: keeping their attention.

Conversations can play out in several different ways, but your main focus should always be on getting to know your match and subsequently asking them out. But what happens when the conversation comes to a halt? What happens when your match is too busy to reply? How should you respond when a girl says she is busy? Let’s answer these questions in more detail in this post.

How to Respond When a Girl Says She is Busy?

A young woman is sitting in a cafe with her laptop, looking stressed out.

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The chances are that you have already found yourself in this particular situation, perhaps more than once. You know the cycle: you find someone attractive, but all of your attempts to get to know them better are rebuffed. Understandably, you may feel hurt and rejected, but how you choose to respond is crucial.

The best way to respond to a girl who says she is busy is to relax, take a deep breath, and hold off on expressing any disappointment. It could be that your match is genuinely busy, and they may ask to speak later — this indicates that they want to get to know you.

A text conversation where one person asks the other out, and the other responds that they can't because they're busy.

More often than not, however, when someone says that they are too busy to speak, they mean that they are not interested in you. If they constantly rebuff your advances, the best thing you can do is accept that it is not meant to be and move on.

In the face of potential rejection, maintaining composure and allowing for a future opportunity to connect can be a more constructive approach. It’s important to remember that people have various reasons for being busy, and not all of them are a direct reflection of personal disinterest. Avoid rushing to conclusions, and instead, give the situation the time it needs to unfold naturally. This patience can provide you with a clearer perspective and help you navigate the complexities of dating dynamics.

Moreover, bear in mind that low performance in one interaction doesn’t define your worth or potential success in the dating realm. Every connection is unique, and external factors can contribute to varied outcomes. Keeping a positive mindset and viewing each experience as a learning opportunity can be instrumental in building resilience and improving future interactions.

Remember, the worst thing you can do in the face of a challenging dating situation is to let it affect your emotions negatively. Embrace the opportunity for personal growth, and don’t let one setback overshadow the potential for positive connections in the future.

Of course, there are many more ways to respond – some of them may even be enough to win your match over.

What does it mean when a girl says she’s busy?

A businesswoman in a suit holds a bunch of papers and notes in her hands while talking on the phone, looking stressed.

Ideally, conversations on online dating sites are all about maintaining momentum and rhythm. Your main goal should be to establish a rapport with your match and ask them out as soon as the opportunity presents itself (within the first three days of matching).

But, of course, we do not live in an ideal world. More often than not, you will have to suffer a few failures before finding success. After having a few conversations with someone you like, your progress could be stopped dead in its tracks by the all-too-familiar phrase: “I’m busy.”

It is easy to become self-critical when this happens – did you do or say something wrong? Usually, however, the “problem” is not with you – it is with them. When confronted with a situation where she says she is busy, the most important thing to remember is that external factors might be at play. So, relax and consider responding with understanding, allowing for flexibility in the conversation. Recognizing that the issue might not be personal can alleviate unnecessary self-doubt and help maintain a positive mindset. It can even be a good sign that they are dealing with external factors rather than a lack of interest.

She may not be interested in you

If you have ever felt the sting of a girl saying that she is too busy, it is most likely because she simply is not interested in you.

When people like each other, they make time for one another: relationships need a healthy dose of compromise. Even online dating requires compromise; that is, both parties need to take the time to get to know one another. But before that, they need to want to make the time.

Ergo, if someone says that they are too busy to speak to you, and they do not offer to continue the conversation at a later time, the simple fact is that they just are not interested in you. Their lack of enthusiasm for finding an alternative time to connect is often a clear indicator of disinterest. On the flip side, when someone is genuinely interested, they will make an effort to find a suitable time to continue the conversation, which is a great sign of their enthusiasm for getting to know you better.

A text conversation where someone asks the other person if they want to go out sometime, and the other responds that they can't because they're busy

This could be because your personalities clash; or, if you have already been on a first date, they may not have felt any “spark” or chemistry. It is also possible that you may have done or said something to upset them.

Regardless of the reason, your best course of action would be to take it in stride and move on. The chances are that they will not elaborate any further, and subsequent interactions will yield the same response: “I’m busy.”

Of course, there are a couple of other possibilities.

She may have found someone else

As we have mentioned before, the world of online dating moves quickly. Newcomers to the scene often have a hard time keeping up. Conversations need to move rapidly, and you will need to strike while the proverbial iron is hot – otherwise, someone else might beat you to it.

Although you may not be able to pick up on it based on what they say, your match may have found someone else, someone they like. Of course, people often have a hard time telling the truth. Rather than letting you know that there is someone else, your match may drop the dreaded phrase: “I’m busy.”

Again, we do not recommend spending too much time thinking about it. If your match has found someone who makes them happy, the best you can do is try to be happy for them and get out of their way. If you’re wondering what to say when a girl says she’s busy, express your understanding and show flexibility by saying something like, “I totally understand if you’re busy. No pressure at all! Whenever you have the time, I’d love to continue our conversation.” This not only communicates your understanding but also leaves the door open for future interaction.

She may actually be busy

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Though this is a rare occasion, sometimes when someone says that they are busy, they really mean it.

People have lives outside of the Internet. It is easy to get swept up in the humdrum of everyday life and not make time for online dating. Family matters, work commitments, and personal responsibilities can indeed take precedence, causing your match to leave you on read, ghost you, or tell you that they are busy.

Of course, if this happens frequently, they may not be in a space to have a relationship. However, sometimes things just get in the way – when this happens, if your match is genuinely interested in you, they will offer to pick up the conversation at a later time. Their willingness to find an alternative time to connect, despite life’s challenges, is a strong indication of their genuine interest and a great sign of the potential of building a connection.

A text conversation where someone expresses enjoyment in speaking with the other person and suggests going out on Thursday. The other person expresses interest but is unable to make it.

Your best course of action here would be to show as much grace and understanding as possible. In fact, in all of the scenarios we have described, your sense of dignity is your best friend. Take everything you hear on the nose, and try to give people the benefit of the doubt as much as possible.

Of course, nothing should stop you from moving on, so if your match always seems to be busy, simply remove yourself from the situation – if they are interested, they will come to you.

What can you do to win them over?

A joyful brunette lady in a white shirt and blue jeans is working with a laptop in a large, modern office.

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Being told that your match is too busy is by no means your cue to give up. Of course, if the conversation has ground to a halt and you do not feel as if any effort is being reciprocated, it would be healthier to move on. But if it is still early days, you may have a chance of getting – and holding – their attention.

Do not try too hard

The first step you can take is actually not taking any steps at all. Do not send 10 follow-up texts unless you want to come off as needy. Instead, show them that your life is already good and that you want to make them a part of it.

Restraint is an underappreciated virtue when it comes to online dating – do your best to exercise it. At the end of the day, you have your own life, and showcasing contentment in your world will naturally attract others to be a part of it.

Make a move

Once the dust has settled on your previous conversation, you can open up the chat again. Try to find out when they will be free, and invite them to participate in an interesting activity (going to an exhibit, for example). Depending on your situation, interactions, and relationship, when you send and how often you send follow-up texts will vary. If you two have been chatting for a while and have established a comfortable rapport, sending a follow-up text after a reasonable gap can be a way to express genuine interest. In such cases, consider referencing a previous conversation or sharing something interesting that happened in your day to reignite the connection.

However, if you barely know each other or if the conversation is still in its early stages, it’s advisable to proceed with caution. Bombarding someone with too many follow-up texts too soon might come across as overwhelming or intrusive. In these initial phases, it’s often better to allow a natural flow in the conversation, giving both parties the space to respond at their own pace. Patience and attentiveness to their responses will go a long way in building a connection that feels comfortable and mutual.

Give them some space

If you still find yourself struggling to win your match’s affection, continuing to push them to engage with you will not work. Let a couple of days pass by – they may have met someone else in the meantime, but that is just the nature of online dating.

Remember, balance is key, and respecting the other person’s time and pace is crucial for maintaining a healthy and engaging interaction. You should never put all of your hopes and dreams on one person, especially when it comes to dating apps, such as Tinder or Hinge. There are always more fish in the sea. Meeting people online should be an enjoyable process, and you should take your time getting to know as many people as possible to broaden your horizons and increase the likelihood of finding a meaningful connection.

Get creative with date ideas

A young couple sitting on a sofa, enjoying playing a video game.

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Everyone has been for coffee, everyone has been to see a movie, and everyone has had dinner. Sometimes, a girl may only say she is busy because she does not like your idea of a date – so think outside of the box. Offer creative suggestions as to what you two can do together. Consider inviting her to a local art gallery opening, a weekend hike at a scenic trail, or even a unique cooking class where you both can learn something new together.

If you know her interests, tailor your suggestions accordingly. For instance, if she enjoys books, propose a visit to a quaint bookstore or a literary event. Emphasize that your goal is to make the experience enjoyable and different from the ordinary.

Additionally, do not hesitate to invite them to existing plans of yours, ensuring flexibility for their free time. Whether it’s a community event, a live music performance, or a casual get-together with friends, extending an invitation to something you already enjoy can make the date feel more relaxed and natural. This way, regardless of whether or not they show up, you will still be able to enjoy yourself.

If she mentions being busy this week, propose plans for next week, suggest alternative days, or even plant the seed for a potential second date. Giving her time to accommodate her schedule while expressing your interest in future interactions can contribute to building anticipation and setting the stage for a successful continuation of your connection. Your match will most likely be far more receptive to your efforts when you demonstrate thoughtfulness and consider activities that go beyond the usual, allowing both of you to make the most of your free time.

Learn to be unavailable – sometimes

Sometimes it helps to fight fire with fire. Most people simply cannot handle the stress of having someone constantly pine after them – do not be that someone. Your world does not – and should not – revolve around your match. Your time is valuable. If they initiate conversation and you are too busy, let them know but offer to speak later. Most will appreciate your assertiveness.

The online dating world is vast and expansive, so get out there and talk to some other people as well. The chances are that most of them may not quite be your cup of tea – eventually, though, you will find someone to connect with.

Final Thoughts

Hopefully, this post has provided you with some useful tips on how to respond when a girl says she is busy. I hope you realize that having a girl tell you that she is too busy to speak or hang out is not the end of the world. It is often a call to action – either you need to step up your game, or you need to find someone else to speak to. We will leave you to decide which applies to your situation.

If you are having trouble writing a good profile, feel free to use our online dating profile writing services. We help both men and women curate the perfect profile. We also offer dating app texting feedback, which can help you improve your conversations.

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