All of us have had to deal with someone shutting us out of their lives, seemingly for no reason at all. However, common wisdom dictates that behind every reaction lies a rational motivation.
Ghosting someone on Coffee Meets Bagel is as easy as pushing a button. But why do people stop replying after a while? How can you tell if they have lost interest? And what should you do if you lose interest?
In this post, we will answer all of those questions and give you a complete understanding of what it means to ghost or be ghosted on Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB).
Ghosting someone in real life can be tricky. After all, the chances are that the person being ghosted is someone you see regularly, whether at work, home, or school. This being said, an eventual – possibly explosive – confrontation is almost impossible to avoid.
However, when it comes to CMB – and online dating as a whole – ghosting someone is much easier, and the chances of having to deal with the awkwardness of being confronted are minimal. Plenty of people ghost their matches simply in order to avoid conflict – it is easier to pretend that someone does not exist than admit to yourself that you may have hurt them.
Matching with someone is by no means a binding contract, but it can be more than a little frustrating when being ignored by a match who – up until now – seemed to show some interest.
There are many potential reasons why someone may be ghosting you or taking too long to respond, but there are some that appear more often than others.
Generally speaking, matching with someone means that both parties have expressed mutual admiration for one another (via the act of liking each other’s profiles). However, a match is not permanent – it does not bind either party to the other.
First impressions play a big part in securing a match. Making sure your profile is well-optimized, comprehensive, and appealing is one of the easiest ways to attract more people to you. However, first impressions are not enough to hold someone’s interest in order to secure a date.
Simply put, though it may be tough to hear, it is more than likely that the reason you are being ghosted is that your match has simply lost interest. Other potential reasons could include poor conversational skills or a difference of opinion and interests on theirs. Either way, if your match has already resorted to ghosting you, there is not much that you can do.
A lack of conversational skills can quickly cause your match to lose interest.
In order to avoid this in the future, it is worth brushing up on your conversational abilities. Ask questions, give compliments, tell jokes – all of these are enough to hold your match’s attention and prevent them from exiting the chat without a word.
Online dating – and Coffee Meets Bagel in particular – can lead to some significant, long-lasting relationships between matches despite its shoddy reputation. However, CMB greatly favors the bold, those who strike while the iron is hot.
Therefore, it is possible that your match may have gotten involved with somebody else. In this case, it is also possible that the person may not have the stomach for awkward confrontations. Nobody wants to be the reason someone’s heart is broken, and while people are often more resilient than we give them credit for, it is not easy letting someone down.
Compatibility alone does not secure a date. You cannot waste time asking someone out solely based on your perception of compatibility
Unfortunately, there is not much to be done in this situation. However, you can do your best to avoid it in the future by asking someone out as soon as possible and not a moment later. This will require a fair bit of enthusiasm on your part, but opportunity only knocks once.
This one is simple. While there is plenty of fish in the sea, there are only so many you can hook.
You may already be on top of your game when starting and carrying interesting, engaging conversations along; you may have also asked your match out as soon as the moment presented itself; and even still, you may have been ghosted. Why?
It bears repeating that people do not like confrontation. Despite your charms and confidence, some matches simply cannot be won over. These situations are primarily due to differences in interests, personality, and desires. You may want something deep and meaningful, while they may not be looking for anything more than a one-night stand; you may be thoughtful and introspective, they may be boisterous and extroverted.
Sometimes, it just is not meant to be.
In this case, you can at least take comfort in the fact that you did everything right and that it simply was not meant to be. In the future, you will know what to look for in a user’s profile that will signal your compatibility.
On rare occasions, CMB may simply be giving you a hard time. The app itself can sometimes give you a bug that will clear your chats or otherwise hide them away. In this case, it is worth going into your profile and browsing your match history.
You will be able to see a complete list of your matches, past, and present. Clicking on a profile will prompt you to view their conversation history. It is here that you may find that you were not ghosted after all and that the app was simply playing a cruel trick on you.
In this case, your window for chatting with your match has likely closed. Fortunately, it can be reopened if you have the beans (the in-app currency for Coffee Meets Bagel) to pay for it. Simply tap on the chat that you would like to reopen, and you should see a prompt asking you to pay for it. If you have enough beans, you will be able to reopen it.
For the most part, read receipts are not necessary unless you consistently check on your messages. It may be worth signing up for a premium account for those who desperately need to know when someone has read their message.
Signing up for a premium account is easy. You should see a prompt on your profile. The exact price of access to premium features will vary – you will have options for 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, and a full year. Click on the one you want and enter your payment details. Within minutes, you should have access to Coffee Meets Bagel’s full retinue of premium features.
You can now switch on read receipts, which you will find in your app’s settings. There are many more premium features that are worth noting, such as the ability to see your likes as well as a monthly profile boost. You also get an allowance of 6000 beans per month.
In some extreme cases, matches will forgo ghosting you in favor of blocking you outright. The reasons for this may be the same as previously mentioned, but it is also possible that you may have really slipped up somewhere along the line to provoke such a reaction.
Unfortunately, there is no way to determine whether or not someone is unmatched with you. You will still see their chat and their profile until it expires. You may also see their profile amongst your batch of bagels in the future.
There may come a time when you also feel the need to unmatch someone to get them off your back. If you want to block someone, simply follow these easy steps:
- Go to the user’s profile or access your chat with them.
- If you view their profile, scroll down until you come across the Hide & Unmatch prompt and click on it. Alternatively, if you are viewing your chat, tap on the three dots in the top right corner, and you should see the same prompt.
- After selecting Hide & Unmatch, you will be asked to confirm your decision. If you want to proceed, select Confirm.
- Finally, you will be prompted to give a reason for unmatching with someone. Pick an option from the drop-down list, and hit Confirm.
Ghosting people is a nasty business, but in some cases, users cannot avoid it. Hopefully, we have succeeded in dispelling some of the reasons you may have been ignored, among other things covered in this post.
If you are worried about your profile, consider using our profile writing service – we help female users as well. You can also make use of our text message feedback service, where we let you know whether or not you are on the right track.