Dating can be difficult and can take a real chunk of confidence to psych yourself up to meeting up with someone for a date. It’s a whole process – from chatting and getting their attention, keeping the conversation alive long enough to arrange a meet-up, to deciding what to wear and getting to your date location. You’d expect the least your date could do is show up, right?
There is nothing worse than the feeling of checking the time constantly and realizing that they might not actually appear. We’ve all been there, experiencing the emotional lows and the knock to our self-confidence and it’s nothing to be ashamed of – but how should you deal with it? Well, let’s take a closer look.
Table of Contents
He stood me up and acts like nothing happened. What should I do?
Source
Firstly, it is important to not blame yourself for what has happened – you were not the one who broke their word. Next, it is important to establish the reason behind why you have been stood up – are you being ghosted, or does he have a valid reason for leaving you alone? The best way to establish this is by messaging him. If he comes back quickly with an apology and a reason, you may choose to forgive him.
Does he take a long time to reply? It could mean a number of things.
If his reason seems like an excuse, if you do not get a reply at all, he may be ghosting you and it is time to cut your losses and move on. It is important to value yourself, and understand your worth – and being left sitting alone is not part of this. If you think the person is ignoring your messages, block them so they can’t contact you down the line – they are not worth it.
There is no one answer to this – it is up to you and how you feel about your relationship is progressing. If you think it is a one-off, you can move on. If however, you think there has been some dry conversation and lack of effort, move on and find someone who will treat you like you should be treated.
Think they are losing interest? Check out my blog post here.
He stood me up. Should I forgive him?
Source
Let’s be honest – if you are stood up, you will feel a level of embarrassment and it will definitely knock your confidence. Therefore, don’t let your date get off lightly – especially if there is no good explanation of why he left you waiting alone.
There is definitely no right answer to whether you should forgive him or not – it will depend on the circumstances and how confident you feel about a future together with him. Relationships should be based on trust and honesty, but they also do need to have some second chances, as no one is perfect and everyone will make mistakes.
If he is a no-show, or rejects you but continues to text, what should you do? Read my blog here for advice.
Before deciding whether you should forgive him, it is important to understand the reason behind why you were left waiting alone. The best way to do this is just to ask him directly and state how it made you feel. This will allow you to gauge whether there is truly a future for your relationship. Think about if there is a good reason for his behavior, and whether this incident has been out of character.
How to Phrase A Message Like This
After you have heard their explanation, it is up to you to see whether you accept what he has to say. If you do, and you want to forgive him, it is important not to bring it up constantly as this will lead to tension. If you are willing to forgive, you need to move on and take your next date as a fresh start.
If, on the other hand, you are not willing to forgive him – then it is best to let him know sooner rather than later so that you can both move on. He certainly won’t make the same mistake in the future!
He stood me up and didn’t text
So you are sitting at a restaurant waiting for your date to show up. The minutes pass, and soon it’s been 45 minutes. You’ve texted, you’ve called, but you have had no reply. Firstly, it’s time to get up and leave – no one should leave you waiting for long if they haven’t communicated that you are running late.
If you have already sent some messages and called them, with no response, do not communicate anymore with them the day you have been stood up. Instead, wait until the next day and send them a casual text, letting them know that they are in the wrong – especially for not communicating with you. Take a look at the message below for an idea of what to say.
The text above will either receive no response, but will mean that you know to stop communication and walk away, or you will receive an apology – either way you will know. If you really like the person and think there is a genuine reason for their no-show, you could take a different approach and send them a message that they may find enticing or intriguing:
Does not replying to his texts make him want you more? Let’s take a closer look.
He stood me up and never called
If he stood you up and didn’t bother to call, but did message you this may be because he is otherwise engaged and can’t speak on the phone. There may be a family emergency or he may be held up at work. If he messaged you, see this as a good sign that he still wants to make the effort and communicate with you.
If, on the other hand, you received no message and no call, either cut ties there or take our advice above and ask for a reason. You can then decide whether to see him again or not.
What if your girl says they can’t text because they are too busy? Take a look at our article here.
How To Get Revenge On Someone Who Stood You Up
Source
Let’s be honest, the best revenge is moving on with your life and showing them what they are missing. If you don’t see a future in the relationship because they have disrespected you, block them and jump back into the dating pool. Use dating apps to meet people with a similar mindset, as this will allow you to find someone who wants to show up to your dates and values your company.
For help with how to get started on dating apps, check out my other blog posts. Once you have made some matches, why not engage them in entertaining conversation to see if you have a connection? Take a look at some of my best conversation starters here.
The Take-Away
Relationships are complicated, especially when it comes to making time for each other and keeping the spark alive. If you have been stood up by a guy, you can see from our guide above that this may be down to a number of reasons. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you think they deserve a second chance – but whatever you do, make sure that you remember your value. To ensure they know you will not put up with being stood up more than once, use the conversation examples we have included above.
As an expert in relationships and communication, I deal with situations like this every day and work hard with couples to increase their communication to facilitate a successful partnership. With my insightful, one-to-one coaching via text messages, I can help you communicate with someone that you are dating or can help you make a great first impression on dating apps if you are looking to dive back into the dating pool. My complete online dating success guide will also help to improve your dating life.
If you give your date a second chance after being stood up and seeing no improvement in their behavior, then it might be time to move on. As hard as this can be, it is important to not be taken for granted and to find someone who values your time.
If you want to try and find someone new, then dating apps are a great way to do this – and this is where I can come in. In addition to writing my blog, I also work with others to help improve their dating profile, by helping personalize their dating bio and helping you write engaging conversation starters for a number of different dating apps. No matter what app you choose, from Hinge to Tinder, Bumble to OkCupid, I am here to help you navigate the weird and wonderful world of dating.