Chatting online makes it hard to gauge whether a girl is into you based only on a few messages. But if you think a girl is losing interest, there are a few ways to get the conversation back on track.
This guide will teach you everything you need to know about restarting a conversation with a girl who is losing interest.
If you think a girl is losing interest, the best thing to do is start a new conversation topic that you know she’ll be interested in. Or, make a joke and find another connection so you can start fresh and revive the conversation.
Don’t give up hope immediately once her responses get short. She might just have a busy week and be overwhelmed with work, but the right icebreaker can pique her interest again for a great convo.
You can see in the conversation above that he sent a thoughtful response with a hint of humor. His match found it to be charming and attractive, and he ended up with a date. It’s always a good idea to find a connection and joke around with a match – it might work out like this conversation!
It can be impossible to tell what someone is thinking over messenger or DM. You can’t see their facial expressions, get body language cues, or feel the energy she’s putting out. That makes it hard to know if someone is losing interest, if they’re just busy, or if something else is going on. But, there are a few ways to tell if she’s losing interest or just busy.
First, check the length of her messages. If she sent long messages with questions and exciting responses before but isn’t now, she might feel differently.
On the other hand, if her texts were always short and to the point like the person above, it might just be her texting style. Do a little recon by going back through your conversation to check her energy throughout, and you might have a clue about her interest level.
Unsurprisingly, one of the best ways to find out how someone is truly feeling is to ask them outright. It doesn’t have to be an aggressive question like, “Are you losing interest in me?” Instead, try testing the water casually:
- Do you want to keep chatting over messenger? I’d love to talk on the phone instead, if that works for you!
- Are you free for dinner this week? It would be great to be able to chat in person finally.
- How are you feeling about things? You seem like you’ve been pretty busy, so I wanted to check in.
Sometimes, you don’t even have to ask if she’s lost interest directly. Her answer to a question like the ones above will give you all you need to know.
Lastly, if her response times change drastically, that might signify that she’s losing interest, and you should stop texting. However, it could also just mean that she’s had a crazy work week and doesn’t have time to check her phone.
The girl in this conversation expected speedy replies from her match, but that’s not always the case. To give you a better idea, let’s look into how long it usually takes to respond.
Every person is different when it comes to dating apps, texting, and online chats. But there are some things to watch out for.
Most girls take within 1-3 days to respond to an online dating message. For texting, it should be shorter, likely within the first day of getting the message. Not everyone has their dating app notifications on, but most people keep their text notifications on.
The time it takes for someone to reply is different for everyone. In the conversation above, you can see that she expects patience with her response times, since she doesn’t frequently use Tinder.
Though response time is different for everyone, it is always a good sign when a girl replies quickly, within an hour or two. If that’s happening, you can assume she has some level of interest in you. Check the length of her messages and whether she asks you questions too – if she sends long texts with questions, it’s a sign she’s into you.
Some people believe that you should wait for the same amount of time or longer when responding to a late reply. However, I tell my online dating clients that it’s always better to do what feels right for you.
There are benefits to both methods. If you wait to respond, you play “hard to get,” which some people like. But if you answer on your own time, you let her know you’re still interested and want to chat. Not only that, but you don’t waste time playing a game when what you really want is to chat with her.
To help attract the right matches and save yourself time, it’s important to have a clear and engaging profile that shows what you like and what you’re looking for. That way, you have a better chance of attracting the right matches and filtering out people who aren’t. Then, you don’t have to spend as much time thinking about response time, because you’ll be matching with people that you can easily connect with.
However, it’s never a good idea to triple or quadruple PM if she takes too long to respond, like this person. She’ll be overwhelmed and more likely to lose interest. The better idea is to respond at an appropriate time once, then let her wait to reply again.
If you’re sure your girl lost interest, it’s time to figure out how to gain it back. There are a few simple ways to reinvigorate her interest and keep the conversation flowing.
This one seems simple, but you might not always think of it in the heat of the moment. Sometimes, people lose interest simply because the conversation is complicated for them to continue. She might find the subject you’re discussing dull, feel like she’s doing more work, or just get caught up in her everyday life.
You remind her that you’re a good conversationalist by asking a question, especially one about her interests, job, or life. Even if you haven’t been chatting for long, asking a question will show her the possibility of an interesting conversation with you. Try something like:
- Hey, how was your trip last weekend! Did the weather hold up?
- I meant to ask you – have you ever been camping around here? I haven’t been all year and want to get one trip in before it gets cold!
- What’s your ideal Saturday morning – sleeping late and chilling in bed or getting up for an early hike?
Keep things light and casual with a few jokes. If you know her well enough, you can go with an inside joke that will show her you’ve been paying attention to what she has to say. Similarly, this works if you’ve been chatting for a few weeks, or even if it’s a new Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, or OkCupid match you got today.
Or, if things are new, a joke or meme might give her an idea of how funny you are. This is also great insight for you – if you make a joke and she doesn’t like it or doesn’t respond, then she isn’t right for you. You can get an idea of whether she’d enjoy your sense of humor in person or if she’s too serious. Then, you get to decide where the conversation goes next.
Try not to take it too far like this “cat.” She’s definitely going to lose interest in the conversation if he keeps up the joke any longer.
Tons of people struggle to chat online over dating apps or texting. It’s hard to show your personality and get to know someone when all you can do is type. That’s why it’s always a great idea to move offline.
It’s especially true when a girl seems to have lost interest. By moving offline, there’s another chance for the conversation to pick back up. It might be nerve-wracking, but at least you have another shot at connecting! Ask her out by saying:
- I loved chatting with you here, but it would be great to talk on the phone! Do you have time for a video call this week?
- What’s your schedule this week? I want to check out a new restaurant downtown and would love it if you joined me!
Online dating and texting can be challenging for anyone, especially since it’s hard to tell if she’s interested. If you’re looking to get more matches, dates, and replies, I can help.
As an online dating profile ghostwriter, I’ll make your profile attractive so that you can get the most replies. Check out my dating services and profile ghostwriting and start to maximize your online dating success today.