Online dating is not a new phenomenon and is very popular among young singles who need an easy way to connect with people. But despite its cultural significance and longevity, many still struggle to find meaningful relationships.
This is particularly true for guys. Sites like Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel are famously women-centric, which can be pretty intimidating for guys who are new to online dating.
Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) is a unique dating site and sets itself apart from rival sites such as Tinder or Badoo. If you are coming from one of those platforms, there are a few things you need to know to manage your expectations.
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Before we get into the nitty-gritty of how Coffee Meets Bagel works (for guys specifically), it is important to first acquaint yourself with the site as a whole.
CMB is an online dating platform with well over 10 million active users, and it is not difficult to understand the appeal of Coffee Meets Bagel, particularly if you are a woman.
This is largely due to the fact that Coffee Meets Bagel was built from the ground up to allow women to control the interactions with potential matches.
As mentioned, Coffee Meets Bagel is unique amongst online dating sites in two ways. Firstly, its structure is heavily focused on providing its female users with the agency and empowerment that they may not find on other dating sites. Secondly, it places restrictions on various features, all of which serve to make finding a relationship a much more streamlined experience.
Every user – male users included – is either a Coffee or a Bagel. The Coffee is the individual profile that you control; the Bagels are your potential matches that are visible to you. Much like real bagels, the Bagels you encounter are only fresh for a certain amount of time – specifically, 24 hours. This means that users are only presented with a certain amount of Bagels per day, and only have a small window of opportunity within which to engage with them.
While some may call this structure into question (particularly Tinder users), it makes finding matches a lot more manageable, and the algorithm ensures that you are only presented with Bagels with whom you are compatible. This means that female users can effectively pick and choose who they are interested in, and not have to worry about these people wasting their time; their options are limited to people who have already expressed interest in their profile.
Of course, all users receive a small number of Beans, which are the platform’s main form of “currency,” for lack of a better word. Your Beans allow you to send likes to other users, as well as potentially match with them. Premium users receive a ration of Beans daily, which is perfect for the way in which CMB is structured. Other users will receive Beans when they complete their profile, and thereafter must purchase more or wait for free Bean rations (which are only handed out every so often).
You should be well-acquainted with the structure of Coffee Meets Bagel by now, but as a male user, you might be wondering what all of this means for you.
Male users are somewhat handicapped on CMB. They cannot see who likes them, and they are limited to a specific number of Bagels per day (20 to be exact). This means that because of their limited number of Beans, male users must be incredibly selective about who they choose to like.
Unlike female users, however, male users will always be presented with the same number of profiles per day. Female users will only see people who’ve already expressed an interest in them. In this case, the best way to guarantee more matches – as a guy – is to make sure that your profile is fully optimized and comprehensive. You can easily improve your profile by being as comprehensive as possible – fill in all the fields that Coffee Meets Bagel provides, then complete your bio by highlighting your most important traits. It also never hurts to be funny – if you can work in a joke, your chances of people engaging with your profile will be much higher.
Although this CMB bio above is detailed and does a good job describing the user’s interests, it can definitely use some more humor to keep potential matches engaged.
Luckily for ex-Tinder users, you will notice that the same best profile practices and tips still apply to Coffee Meets Bagel – do not clutter your profile with selfies, diversify your selection of photos, try to work in a few jokes, etc. The Tinder similarities also extend to everything related to breaking the ice and getting a good rapport going through top-notch conversation. If you are wondering how these sorts of conversations should play out, take a look at the examples featured down below.
This is a good example of a really safe, effective conversation starter.
This one is a little raunchier and thus riskier, but openly flirting straight away can sometimes lead to some pleasing results.
From the outset, it is abundantly clear that Coffee Meets Bagel is designed in such a way to provide women with the agency they might be lacking on other dating sites. Despite this, guys on CMB should still not be afraid to express their interest and admiration. In fact, the site actively encourages it.
Whenever you are presented with a profile on Coffee Meets Bagel, you are given the option of liking it. This alone will be enough to at least get your potential match to notice you (as mentioned, women are only presented with guys who have already liked their profile), but if you really want to improve your chances of them matching with you, you are going to need to send them a message.
Luckily, one of the features unique to guys on CMB is the ability to send a message along with your likes. These messages can be viewed by the women you send them to, and if they are compelling enough, they may be enough for them to like you back and match with you. Only once this has happened will the chat window be opened, allowing both of you to communicate as you please. Alternatively, you can always politely pass on a profile and move on to the next. You may encounter that profile again with a later batch of Bagels.
These messages cost extra Beans (which are limited in supply) to send, so you need to ensure that you only send them to people you are really interested in and that they are compelling and well-written. If you need more Beans, there are a few different ways of acquiring them. By far the easiest (and cheapest) method is to sign in to your Coffee Meets Bagel account every day during your first week, which will award you with a small number of Beans every time. You can also earn more free Beans by inviting your friends to the application – (they have to click on the link that you provide) – or by following Coffee Meets Bagel’s social media profiles (by following the links that they provide).
If you have extra money to spend, you can purchase more Beans from the in-app store in various quantities, or you can sign up for a premium account which will net you a set amount of Beans every week.
Misdirection can be a successful conversation starter. Beginning with a strange question and then segueing into something more risque can be very effective. Just like when setting up your profile and writing your bio, it never hurts to be funny. Opening with a joke can be a great way to get a conversation going.
As an additional note, try to come up with a joke that your match is forced to engage with. Knock-knock jokes are a good example of jokes that require engagement from both parties.
Despite Coffee Meets Bagel’s intense focus on empowering its female users, male users do not need to be afraid of this incredible and popular dating site. All the rules of engagement that you may have learned on sites like Tinder or Badoo still apply here. In fact, Coffee Meets Bagel’s unique structure actively streamlines the process for both male and female users, making it that much easier for you to find the deep and meaningful relationship that you have been looking for.