Should I call her If she doesn't call me: A bearded man with glasses leans against a car outside as he checks his messages on his smartphone.

Should I Call Her If She Doesn’t Call Me? (What To Do)

Imagine this: You’re out for drinks with your friends one night, and you strike up a conversation with a captivating woman. After some engaging banter, you exchange phone numbers. She playfully winks and utters, “I’ll call you.” However, as you sit there three days later, your phone remains eerily silent.

You find yourself repeatedly glancing at her number on your phone, pondering, “Should I call her if she didn’t call me?

If you’re in this situation, you’ve come to the right place. Let’s delve into the question of whether you should take the initiative and make the first move, even if she hasn’t reached out to you yet.

Should I Call Her If She Doesn’t Call Me?

A bearded man with glasses wears a black zip jacket as he looks down at his smartphone.


In short: yes, you should call her even if she doesn’t call you first. However, it’s essential to strike the right balance.

Think about it this way: In the grand scheme of life, what do you have to lose? The worst possible outcome is that she tells you not to call again, and you know what? Now you have your answer. Life is too short to sit around waiting and wondering where you stand with someone.

If making the first call feels too daunting, you might opt for sending a text instead. The principle remains the same: she’ll either respond or she won’t. In either case, you’ll gain a clearer understanding of the direction (or lack thereof) in which this connection is heading. If you’re unsure about what to say, you can explore my text message consulting services for assistance.

However, refrain from calling or texting multiple times if she doesn’t respond. Doing so risks coming across as ‘clingy’ or overbearing, which is the fastest way to jeopardize any potential future with her.

Remember that women appreciate a respectful and balanced approach when it comes to pursuing a connection.

She Never Calls But Always Answers: What Does It Mean?

A bearded man is smiling as he talks to someone on his smartphone, as he stands against a blue wall.


If you find yourself in a situation where she never calls first, but always answers, you may be dealing with a scenario where she is interested in you, just not as interested as you are in her. She’s willing to engage when you call, yet she’s hesitant to make the effort to initiate communication herself.

Take a few days to ponder this situation. Refrain from making the first move and observe what unfolds. If she doesn’t initiate any contact during this time, you’ll need to reevaluate whether you’re willing to continue pursuing her, even without reciprocated communication.

Furthermore, it’s possible that she leads an exceptionally busy life. Does she work overnight shifts or have a job that restricts her phone access? If this is a relationship you wish to sustain, don’t immediately jump to negative conclusions.

Sometimes, a straightforward conversation can shed light on any miscommunication. Perhaps she adheres to traditional values and believes that the man should always be the one to initiate contact. If you genuinely care for her, consider addressing the issue before prematurely discontinuing communication to understand the reasons why she never calls but always answers the phone. Something as simple as this can help immensely:

Text conversation:
Person A: Can we talk? You never initiate contact, so it's confusing.
Person B: Sure, I didn't realize that. I'll work on it.

She Never Calls Me, I Always Call Her: What Does This Mean?

So, you’re interested in a girl, but you always find yourself initiating contact. Being the sole initiator can be disheartening. Does this mean she’s not interested? Are you stuck in the friendzone?

There are several possible reasons why she might not be initiating contact, and you’re the one making the first move. Let’s explore these scenarios.

She’s Shy:

A young, shy, freckled girl covers her face with her salmon sweater as she gazes at the camera.


This isn’t an excuse, but an explanation. Some women are confident conversationalists, while others may feel more at ease with texting, as it allows them time to compose responses. Not every girl enjoys phone calls, and sometimes they result in dull, uninspiring conversations.

What To Do:

If you sense she’s not a fan of phone calls, try asking her out on a date within 3-4 days of chatting. Prolonging texting exchanges may relegate you to text-only buddies. Meeting in person can break the ice and provide more conversation topics. This approach is particularly useful for online dating app encounters. If you’re having trouble successfully meeting someone online, check out my online dating success guide.

She Is Unsure:

When women aren’t entirely certain about their feelings, they may not initiate contact but remain open to flirting and phone conversations. Some women need time to clarify their intentions, especially early on.

What To Do:

If she never calls you, and you’re the one always calling her, maintain consistency in your intentions. Express your interest in getting to know her beyond physical attraction and suggest meeting up when she’s available. This can reassure her and demonstrate your seriousness. Give her space to think if she’s unsure; excessive calls or texts can be overwhelming. One way you can ask her out, without asking her out is to invite her to events or social activities. This allows you to get to know each other without the pressure of a formal date.

She Doesn’t Want To Seem Clingy:

Society often labels any effort as “clingy” or “needy,” causing many girls to fear appearing as such. Strict texting etiquette prevails to avoid seeming “crazy” or “over the top.”

What To Do:

Communicate with her about her concerns. Let her know you don’t view her as clingy. Address the issue openly, as this can alleviate her worries. A mature, straightforward approach like the example below can help:

Person A: Can we talk?
Person B: Sure!
Person A: I noticed I'm always the one to contact you.
Person B: I didn't want to appear clingy.

Take note that the message sender approached the issue maturely without accusation, opening a conversation to clear the air.

She Has Friendzoned You:

A young couple has tea on the patio. The woman chats on her phone, ignoring her date, while he watches her, stirring his cup.


This can be a tough realization, but if she wanted more, she would likely initiate contact. If you find yourself consistently initiating contact without reciprocity, she may see you as just a friend.

What To Do:

Avoid getting upset or angry with her. It won’t improve the situation. Accept that there may be various reasons why she’s not interested. In many cases, her feelings are simply not romantically inclined. Give her some space and refrain from initiating contact; if she doesn’t reach out, you’re probably seen as just a friend.

Remember, understanding these situations and responding with respect and maturity can lead to healthier interactions and clearer communication.

Check out my blog post to find out whether you should continue to text her after being friendzoned.

Should I Call Her: Where Do You Go From Here?

A young bearded businessman in a white collar shirt looks outside the window while holding his smartphone.


If you find yourself in a situation where you feel a strong connection with someone but they haven’t called you, what should be your next steps? Let’s recap.

Consider this: What’s the worst-case scenario if you call her first? While it’s possible she might have a protective boyfriend, it’s highly unlikely. Either she’ll answer your call and be excited to reconnect, or she won’t. If she doesn’t pick up after one call, it’s acceptable to send her a text, but don’t overdo it. Perhaps she was busy or tended not to answer calls from unfamiliar numbers.

Once you send that text, you’ll get your answer. Either you’ll reignite the connection, or you won’t. Regardless of the outcome, you’ll have a much clearer understanding of where you stand, allowing you to decide whether to move on or explore the situation further.

Person A: Are you still interested? Your replies have gotten shorter.
Person B: Initially, there was a spark, but we don't have much in common.

Now, if you’re engaged in a conversation with a girl, and you notice that communication only happens when you initiate it, there could be several reasons for this:

  1. She’s shy.
  2. She’s unsure.
  3. She’s trying not to seem clingy.
  4. She views you as a friend.

If she was initially engaged but her responses have become shorter over time, women can be quite puzzling. That’s where we can assist. If you’re uncertain about your situation and would like text message feedback from a professional online dating coach, our services can guide you in the right direction. We not only provide advice but also analyze any behavioral patterns or changes.

Final Thoughts

This post aimed to clarify whether you should call her if she doesn’t call you first. As you can see, there are numerous reasons why a woman might not initiate a call or return one. If several days have passed, and she still hasn’t called, there’s no harm in making the first move. This can help maintain the connection and provide clarity about where you stand. Once you determine your position, you can decide whether to continue pursuing her or move on.

If you’re having trouble getting dates or matches, I can help. My professional dating profile services will help you to stand out and secure more dates in no time.

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