Whether you’re looking for love, a hookup, or are just lonely – Tinder is a terrific way to connect with people from all over the world. With millions of users and growing, the social dating app continues to register nearly a billion swipes every day.
However, finding the best icebreaker for a new connection on Tinder can be tricky for most people. Making a good first impression without actually meeting means you have to find a way to stand out among their other matches.
In this post, I’m going to offer valuable tips to level up your Tinder dating strategy so you can catch their eye with a simple sentence (or question).
What Are Some Of The Best Tinder Conversation Starters?
While your friends may suggest using the cheesiest of Tinder pick-up lines, is this always the best route to take?
When it comes to making a connection and keeping the conversation going, a few of the best conversation starters include:
- Sending a GIF
- Sending a meme
- Giving a compliment
- Asking a funny question
- Starting with a lighthearted debate
- Ask them about themselves
Keep your conversation starters short and sweet. If you do end up catching their eye, you’ll have plenty of time to write more – but when making a first impression, get straight to the point. Keep it lighthearted and personal, if possible.
What are Conversation Starters?
Either person can begin a conversation, unlike Bumble or CMB – where the woman has to make the first move. Tinder puts the ball in either court. So, a conversation starter is simply that: starting a conversation with a new match in hopes of them replying. Once they reply, you can continue the conversation and see where it leads. Who knows, you may find the love of your life!
Tips for Starting a Tinder Conversation
Think about it from your own perspective. Are you more likely to respond to a simple “hey there” or does a funny first liner peak your interest instead?
Making him or her react internally to your initial message is crucial to gaining a response.
This doesn’t mean they need to fall head over heels in love with you right off the bat (a little pressure, much?) but even making them laugh or smile can evoke a positive reaction and make them more likely to respond back.
Your first few messages will set the first impression so choose your words wisely.
Here are some tips to help you spark a conversation.
Ask a funny question
Like I said, making the other person laugh can be the easiest way to their heart. When we laugh, our brain releases endorphins. These happy chemicals create a positive bond between two people.
Research has proven women who interact with men that can make them laugh find them more intelligent and attractive.
However, humor isn’t the same for everyone. What’s funny to you may not be funny to them. Keep any serious topics like religion or politics out of the jokes, and make them as relatable and lighthearted as possible.
Would you like to talk to a guy who can kill spiders for you?
Do you have a crush on any celebrity?
Who’s your favorite avengers’ superhero and why?
Start a debate (Keep it light-hearted and avoid controversial subjects)
As with jokes, keep sensitive topics away from this. That can be the quickest way to ruin a connection before it even begins. Debates can be a fun way to see how the other person thinks and feels about different topics while making it seem like a game.
Do you think Amazon was a better discovery or Avocados?
Let’s debate: Is Starbucks really as good as it’s made out to be?
Cats make better pets than dogs.. Change my mind.
Homework should be banned in schools.. Yes or no?
Pineapple on pizza is a disgrace. Do you agree?
America should outlaw credit scores like every other country. What do you think?
Pick Out Something From Their Profile and Mention It:
This sends the impression you actually took the time to look through their profile, rather than just swiping right mindlessly. With an array of photos to choose from, it’s likely you can find something to mention. This can be quite literally anything! Look closely and see if you can relate or make any connections, or simply compliment them.
A few examples:
You may have the cutest dog I’ve ever seen… (don’t you dare tell mine I said that.) What kind of dog is he?
I see you’re into hiking.. What’s your favorite trail so far?
I can tell you’re a big nature fan. What else do you do besides fishing and kayaking?
I love that you’re into working out and fitness! Any tips for a beginner like me?
Wow – you have 3 sisters? So do I!
I love the coffee shop in your photo, it’s one of my favorites in town. What’s your usual order?
Is cross-fit really as hard as it sounds?
Use Emojis In Your Conversation Starter:
Back in the day, if words weren’t your strong suit you were pretty much out of luck. Times have changed though, and if letters lined up in a row don’t come naturally to you, you have the advantage of using those little images on your phone screen.
Everyone loves emojis, this is just a fact. You use them, your friends use them, and even your parents use them. So why not use them when trying to make a potential match?
Emojis can be a fun way to draw attention to your conversation and give your match a break from boring text-filled messages that are likely flooding their inbox.
Clover, a dating app alternative, conducted a study on the emojis most likely to gain responses from matches. Here are a few examples:
Top Emojis Women Respond To:
Top Emojis Women DO NOT Respond To:
Top Emojis Men Respond To:
Top Emojis Men Do NOT Respond To:
Ask More About Where They’re From:
People love talking about their hometown. For many people, their hometown is near and dear to their heart. When you ask about their background it shows you’re interested in learning more about them. Here are a few ways:
- How long have you lived in ____?
- I see you live in Seattle now! Are you from there?
- That’s cool you’re from Minneapolis! What’s your favorite restaurant there?
- You’re from Arizona? So, is it safe to assume you’ve been to the Grand Canyon?
- What was life like growing up in a small town? I’ve always wondered!
What should I Say on Tinder?
The impression someone makes of you within the first 30 seconds of interaction is as profound as spending 3 entire hours with them. This is why knowing what to say and how to say it is key.
Simply saying “hi” or “hey” is not only boring, but it also shows you’re unoriginal.
Trials and research have shown that creative opener lines are far more likely to trigger a reply than a simple ‘hello’ message. When your opening lines are in the form of a question, a joke, a compliment, or even a flirty message, you have more chances of receiving a meaningful reply – or any reply at all.
Typically, the best Tinder conversation starters revolve around asking a simple question or passing a flirty compliment. Just remember to choose conversation starters that reflect the tone of the other person’s profile and your style and personality. If you don’t know how to write an impressive Tinder profile, check out some great bio ideas in my post.
How to Start a Conversation on Tinder (Examples)
We’ll talk next about a few different scenarios and the differences between guys and girls. Notice how these conversations begin with unique questions and result in frequent responses from the recipients.
Imagine saying ‘Hi’ and getting a simple ‘Hello!’ in return. How boring would that be?
Notice how these conversations begin with unique questions and result in amazing responses from the recipients. Imagine saying ‘Hi’ and getting a simple ‘Hello!’ in return. How boring would that be?
How Do You Start a Flirty Conversation on Tinder?
Flirting is an excellent strategy for starting a conversation because, after all, Tinder is a dating app. However, flirting can come off as creepy and the strategy can backfire if you don’t know how to do it right.
Offering compliments to your match is probably the best way to flirt without offending anyone. Compliments don’t always have to revolve around looks and more often than not, women prefer compliments on things other than their looks right away. They have likely received many messages from men calling them beautiful. You don’t want to blend in with the rest of them, do you? Even if she is extremely beautiful, you can always compliment her on that later.
Make positive comments about their artistic abilities, music taste, and style, and praise their accomplishments.
- Great sense of style! I love that fur coat on you.
- I think it’s incredible you ran a whole marathon – I don’t think I could do that!
- Wow, you went to school for biology? It takes someone incredibly smart to do that!
- You seem like a great big sister to your little brothers – that’s such an admirable trait!
- I love how hardworking you seem – it takes a motivated person to accomplish all that you have!
A few other tips when flirting:
- Tease them – in a playful way
- How did you know tall girls/guys were my weakness?! I’m onto your tricks…
- Challenge them
- I see you play basketball but I’m pretty confident I could beat you in a shootout!
- Make her laugh
- Throw out an ultra cheesy pickup line – one that is undoubtedly a joke! Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
- Playful Misinterpretation:
- This is when you purposely misinterpret what she says to move the conversation in a flirty direction.
How to Start a Conversation on Tinder with a Girl
The key to an excellent Tinder opener is to take things casually and avoid trying too hard to impress. Don’t overthink it. While it’s true that you won’t hear back from a lot of people you match with on the dating app, just put yourself out there and experiment with different types of messages to see what works best for you.
Women are incredibly emotional beings. They base everything on feeling.
The one thing you should never, ever make her feel? Bored.
Here are some ideas to send the first message on Tinder to a girl.
Use GIFS In Your Opening Message
According to a study done by Tinder themselves, GIFS are 30% more likely to receive a message back than boring old text. GIFS are not only eye-catching but can make someone laugh in a way words simply can’t.
Not only this, Tinder found conversations that harnessed the power of GIFS were two times longer than those without!
This may be because human beings are naturally attracted to visual stimulation, or because GIFS often use celebrities, memes, or clips from television that are relatable. Whatever the reason, next time you simply can’t think of what to say – use a GIF instead.
Here are a few of the most successful GIFS used in Tinder messages:
Jimmy Fallon – an icon and apparent matchmaker.
Name a better show than Friends.. I’ll wait.
Clearly, this one is just for the girls – Regina George never fails to work her magic.
Memes and GIFs can say many things that you fail to communicate through words. Pick any funny or popular meme that lets you initiate a conversation. The key is to choose something that is sure to elicit an emotional response from your match.
Start with a Pick-up Line
Choose from hundreds of Tinder pick-up lines to ignite a spark. While this is a risky strategy, you can impress your dream date easily with a unique and original pick-up line.
Here are a few examples:
I’m not a photographer, but right now, I’m picturing us together.
How do we tell our friends about this interesting encounter?
My mom always told me not to talk to strangers.. But I think I could make an exception for you!
If you want to respond to just one message today, please let it be mine.
Some people can’t seem to come up with anything on their own. It’s ok to grab a joke or a meme from here and there. But what you will eventually say to your match is going to make the final impact.
Questions and Compliments
While she may have some information on her profile, she might want to keep other things private from the public eye. That gives you a perfect opportunity to ask about her location, interest, or life in general. While praising your match’s smile, clothes, or looks is okay, most girls don’t like receiving too many compliments initially. They want to know that others appreciate various aspects of their life, such as personal or professional accomplishments, the Halloween costume that they are wearing, or something beautiful in the background.
Here are some Tinder conversation starters for guys to follow:
- I love that costume on you. You make a cute cat.
- What breed of puppy do you have?
- I’m so glad you like Rock & Roll too! What’s your favorite band?
- Your hiking photo looks incredible! Where is that at?
- Congrats on joining the Army! I’m sure you’ll make a great soldier.
Flirty Conversation Starters
Unless your match’s profile features flirty photos or sexually charged language, avoid starting a conversation with an overly flirty question or remark. Girls receive more intrusive messages than they’d ever care for and they often go ignored. But sometimes, giving a little tease is acceptable when your match appears fun and adventurous.
Here are some examples:
This example shows why being flirtatious pays off when you want to find a date without sounding too desperate.
Notice how a single message is enough to create a spark if it’s interesting enough to capture the other person’s attention. Conversation starters like these always do better than a simple ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello!’
Having trouble getting replies from matches? Here are some common reasons why and what to do about it.
How to Start a Conversation on Tinder with a Guy
Gone are the days when women waited for the ‘guys’ to start a conversation on a dating app. While this was the old traditional way, women are coming into the online dating scene as confident as ever.
Don’t hesitate to say hello to your match and be your true self. You can ask a personal question as long as it is not offensive or look for something in the profile to start a conversation.
Here are some Tinder conversation starters to use on guys.
- I love that you’re a Seahawks fan, too! Maybe we’ll have to plan a game day date sometime.
- Your dog looks like such a good boy. I had the same kind growing up.
- I saw your Spotify playlist – ever been to Country Jam before?
Such messages get attention and reveal that you are genuinely interested in the guy’s profile. Avoid asking any questions about his ex-girlfriend or cultural/religious beliefs.
If he is studying at UCLA, praise him.
If he’s showing off his football skills, tell him how impressed you are.
Men respond better to compliments than most women, so by doing so, you have better chances of initiating a good conversation. All it takes is stroking his ego.
Also, be sure to ask some interesting open-ended questions. What, how, where, and why types of questions are great for starting off a conversation since they allow your match to answer in a variety of different ways. Questions like these are sure to get longer and better responses from your match other than a simple greeting.
Closed-ended questions on the other hand are a no-go. These are questions that can be answered by simple yes or no answers. They can often leave a conversation high and dry unless you have a match who knows their way around small talk.
Here are some more examples:
- Love your hiking boots. What is your next hiking destination?
- That Ronaldo haircut looks super cute on you. What inspired you to cut your hair that way?
- Great photography skills. Are you a professional photographer?
- That leather jacket looks so comfy. Where can I buy one like that?!
Make it about Them
Men love to talk about themselves. It gets them feeling good, and helps you get to know them better. Not only does it stimulate the pleasure center in our brains, but we also open up more easily when someone asks us about our opinions and thoughts.
Trust in your instincts and ask questions that you think will create a better connection with your match.
That’s a really nice cap that you’re wearing. Where did you get it?
I see you work in construction.. How did you get into that field?
Do you enjoy working as a vet tech?
So, what’s the story behind the bear tattoo?
Pose a Question
In case there’s nothing that you find interesting about your match’s profile, pick up a topic that’s currently trending locally or nationally. For example, you can mention a recent movie or a happening at a coffee shop.
Who knows, you may be able to start a conversation that way. The key is to pick up something that is in the news or circulating in the social media world. Something that they can respond to without thinking or searching online.
So how do you feel about the last 8 inches of snow we just got?
What are your thoughts on the Gabby Petito case.. Crazy right?!
Did you see they’re opening up a new restaurant downtown?
Do you go to that [Name] coffee shop often?
Do’s and Don’ts of Tinder Conversation Starters
Let’s take a look at these Do’s and Don’ts to start your Tinder conversation the best way.
Keep your message nice and short: Nobody likes receiving long messages, especially not someone who has to reply to Tinder messages on a daily basis. If your match opens up their phone and sees a paragraph, they’ll likely ignore it.
Ask questions: A question is always better than a statement. So choose something that allows your match to reveal something interesting about themselves. As we talked about, ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no.
Use humor: But don’t crack any jokes that are offensive or downright rude. Stay away from topics that are controversial such as politics, religion, or human rights.
Call them ‘hottie’ or ‘cute’: Don’t flirt unless you get a signal because being overly flirtatious can be a turnoff, especially for women. Start a conversation with a compliment and make it something about their accomplishments, pets, or anything you find interesting in their background.
Follow up if you don’t get a reply within 72 hours: If they don’t reply to you within the first few days of your message, move on to someone else. Don’t keep on sending weird messages that will only taint your impression. You never know, they may be at their cabin and have no service, or they may be sick. Don’t ever continue to message them or get verbally upset when they don’t reply. Nobody is obligated to respond to anyone.
Copy a pick-up line from a meme: If you copy a line from a popular meme, you’re not being original. Instead, just send the meme or the GIF itself, and you will have more chances of receiving a reply. That way, they won’t assume you’re not creative.
Be condescending: Your first message should be about the other person and not you. Customize the message according to your match’s profile but avoid making any rude remarks. Don’t put down anyone else in the photos either. Even if she is by far the prettiest of the group, you don’t need to put other women down to make her feel good.
The best Tinder conversation starters are never offensive or personal attacks. You are here to spark connections with everyone, not to discourage them. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. However, if you think you’ve found the perfect match on this popular dating app, be the first one to break the ice.
What’s the worst that could happen? They don’t reply. Life goes on, and there are plenty of more matches waiting.
If you want to know how to create the perfect first impression, please reach out to me. My extensive experience as a dating app profile writer allows me to create customized Tinder conversation starters and messages. Ready to take your Tinder app profile up a notch? Get in touch!