If you’re asking this question, then you’re probably a veteran of the online dating world. Dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, can be fantastic ways to meet new people and pursue romantic interests, but they can also be strange, confusing, and downright frustrating.
You may have noticed that you’ve matched with quite a few men through Tinder or Hinge, but hardly any of them actually message you first, or even at all. Why is that? Well, that’s what we’re going to explore right now.
Let’s take a closer look at some reasons why he’s not messaging you after he swiped right on your profile.
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If you’ve been on Tinder or Hinge for a while, you’ve probably had plenty of guys swipe right and then not send you a message. Why? It’s almost as bad as going on a fantastic date, only for you never to hear from him again – it sucks and it’s so confusing.
There are a few reasons why he might not be reaching out. The first and most common is that he swiped by mistake. Don’t take it personally – I’m sure you’ve done it too. Or he probably just doesn’t use the app very often.
He might not know what to say, he might not be sure about you, or he just wants a quick hookup and found that in someone else.
Let’s explore these in more detail.
We’ve all been there – you’re swiping through the faces when suddenly your brain just stops working and you accidentally swipe right when you meant to swipe left. It’s really easy to do this, especially if he’s one of those guys who flicks through profiles at lightspeed while he’s preoccupied with something else.
If you just can’t figure out why he won’t talk to you after matching with you, assume you two matched by mistake, and move on with your day.
This is another fairly common one. A lot of people that use dating apps and websites just aren’t serious about it, so they’ll just swipe for no reason. They are looking around with no intention of actually doing anything real. Don’t take it personally when someone swipes right and doesn’t reply to your message.
Introducing yourself to someone on a dating app or making a mind-blowing first move is no simple task. Those Tinder suggestions that give you an idea of what to say aren’t really helpful either, so maybe the guy you matched with has a case of cold feet.
Take the power and make the first move yourself! After all, it’s just a hello, and who knows where that might lead?
Here are some great Hinge openers to use to get the conversation started. And if you need help with getting replies, I can help you out.
This is kind of a tough pill to swallow, but it happens and has probably happened to you. The guy swiped right, was interested in talking to you, and decided otherwise. He might have felt intimidated or didn’t feel like the two of you would connect. Or he might be swamped at work and isn’t serious about dating. It’s his loss, but it’s not the end of the world.
While Tinder is a dating app, that doesn’t stop people from using it to look for their next quick hookup. It’s fairly common for a lot of people to go on the app to look for a good time for one night and swipe right on as many people as possible to increase their chances.
The guy you matched with might have matched with you and some other people, found someone who was down to hookup, then had his fun.
There’s probably nothing more frustrating when you’re on Tinder than getting plenty of matches but virtually no messages. There are a few reasons why this could be, so let’s take a look at some of them.
Usually, if you’re getting a lot of Tinder matches but aren’t getting any messages, it means that your matches are struggling to figure out what to message you about. A well-written, unique bio will make it much easier for someone to message you.
The information that you include in your Tinder bio makes it easier for your matches to find out more about you and also helps them come up with conversation starters.
If you’re struggling, here is a quick guide on what to write for your Tinder profile.
If you’ve got some great photos but your bio kind of sucks, you’ll probably get plenty of matches, but not a lot of those matches will send you messages after reading your bio. The same can be said when your bio makes you sound desperate.
Try to convey in your bio that you’re an interesting person who has a lot to offer past just your physical appearance. Even if you’re a social outcast, you’ve got a lot about you that’s interesting and that people will find attractive.
What’s more, having a negative bio will be a turn-off for most people. Knowing how to write a good dating profile can really boost your chances of finding something meaningful on apps like Tinder.
When you’re writing your Tinder bio, be sure to include some of the things you’re interested in, whether that be reading, playing an instrument, or volunteering – whatever you do that you feel makes you more interesting. Doing that will give your matches something to open the conversation with, and if you two have a common interest, something to talk about.
If you’re using Hinge, be sure to have unique, interesting profile prompts. Prompts are a great way to showcase your unique traits and get comments.
There really aren’t any hard and fast rules about who should message who first on Tinder, and it will largely come down to a matter of preference and whether or not you prefer making the first move. Generally speaking, if you swipe right on a guy and the ‘you’ve matched’ message pops up, then it would make sense for you to message first.
Likewise, if a guy swipes right on you and you two match, you wouldn’t be stupid for waiting for him to shoot you a message first. But if he doesn’t, you can always take the initiative to send him a starter and get the ball rolling with the conversation.
Don’t fall into those tired old dynamics of ‘the guy should always message the girl first’. There’s no reason why you can’t shoot your shot with a guy first, and most guys actually enjoy it when girls make the first move – it makes them feel wanted and can also encourage them to keep the conversation going.
Starting a conversation on Tinder can be pretty daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. A great way to start a conversation is to take a look at your match’s bio and find something interesting that you can discuss. It could be anything – their favorite shows, games, sports, etc.
Honestly, cheesy pickup lines are a great way to start a conversation with humor and get the two of you laughing. Don’t be afraid to send that first message!
Try some of these starters:
“So I’m big into conspiracy theories and I just have to ask, do you believe in any conspiracies?”
“Using only emojis, how would you describe twerking to my granny?”
“What’s a weird food combo you can’t get enough of?”
Here is an example below:
Check out some of the best Hinge conversation starters for more ideas.
Don’t stress yourself out if that one guy isn’t sending you a message. Now you know that there are plenty of factors that play into when someone does and does not send you a message, and as the age-old saying goes, there is plenty of fish in the sea.
Lastly, if you’re struggling to figure out how to write a good bio, be sure to take advantage of my dating profile ghosting services. I’ve worked with dozens of clients to stand out and get more matches.
Whether you’re using Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, or other dating apps, I’ll work with you to create an attractive dating bio that gets dates.