Being in a committed relationship with someone often means sharing in each other’s burdens. This requires patience and understanding from both parties and a willingness to help one another when the time calls for it.
Of course, sometimes, the people you love may suffer in silence. As much as you’d love to help them, you’re unable to if they won’t open up.
People hide their pain in different ways. In most cases, however, they’ll simply say they’re tired without further elaboration. Naturally, this can leave you wondering what to do.
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When someone says they’re tired, they are most likely referring to this exact sensation; feeling anxious without relief or stressed out without rest. It’s also possible that something specific is sapping their energy. Either way, knowing exactly why someone is tired is crucial for informing your response – a little insight can go a long way to helping your potential partners and loved ones through tough times.
Let’s face it – keeping up with the hustle and bustle of everyday life is tough. Aside from your numerous responsibilities, each day presents new challenges. Sometimes it seems that two more are bound to take their place for every problem solved.
Unfortunately, a day is only made up of 24 hours – there’s only so much time a person can spare to recharge and refocus. No one is immune to the feeling of being overwhelmed – and no one is immune to the depressive, paralyzing effects of being pulled in too many directions at once.
Let’s look at some possible reasons why they may be feeling this way.
Life – hard enough as it is – has a way of making things somehow harder. It’s no secret that bad things often befall good people. That diligent office worker you walk past every day on your way to work could be buckling under the weight of their responsibilities, be it family, friends, work, or – more likely – everything at once. Hell, that diligent office worker could be you.
Unfortunately, these issues often affect people in subtle ways. What seems like a molehill at first could turn out to be the tip of an immense mountain waiting to erupt out of the ground and send your life into a tailspin. Worse still, these molehills/mountains rarely appear alone.
When your friend, partner, family member, or even crush tells you that they’re tired, it’s possible that they’re actually feeling overwhelmed. Unfortunately, while fatigue may be a symptom of their predicament, no amount of sleep will be enough to abate their ills.
In the case of a partner or spouse, this could lead to changes in their behavior and moods, which may give you the impression of them pulling away. They may be less talkative, less active, and less cheery overall. However, a receptive ear and a gentle touch often make them feel better, if only temporarily.
Of course, life doesn’t need to pull out all the stops in order to drag you down. Sometimes all it takes for someone to feel burned out is a single problem that seems infuriatingly unsolvable.
It is important to understand that stress affects people in different ways. Some people may be visibly disheveled or shaken, while others prefer to keep their feelings hidden. Additionally, the causes for stress or anxiety are different for everyone – what may seem like a minor annoyance to you may just be the bane of another’s existence.
When something specific is nagging at someone and wearing them out, they may literally feel tired – again, fatigue is often a symptom of stress. However, these specific issues can sometimes be resolved a little easier through concerted effort.
Of course, a solitary issue can quickly get out of hand if it is not addressed soon enough. This, in turn, can lead back to that overwhelming feeling. Naturally, changes in behavior and disposition are sure to follow.
Of course, while life can be tough at times and while things can get out of hand, sometimes when a person says they’re tired, it means that they want to go to bed.
However, this can be tough to ascertain if you’re chatting over the phone. Text messages have a funny way of obscuring one’s true intent. Your partner may seem cheery and excited in one message, then seem glib or deadpan in the next.
Usually, however, your crush or partner will eventually tell you that they want to go to bed, even if they have to endure a conversation a little bit longer.
Not everyone is a qualified therapist. You may be at a loss for words about how you should respond when someone tells you they’re tired or feeling spent and overwhelmed. However, helping a loved one through a difficult time may not be as difficult as you think.
Look, some things just need to run their natural course. After speaking to multiple people and dealing with numerous issues, you will learn that some problems just can’t be solved by conventional means. Additionally, forcing a solution may end up doing more harm than good in the long run.
Helping someone with their feelings of being overwhelmed requires a much subtler touch. You will have to be gentle and understanding – most importantly, you will need to be patient. Issues like this are rarely resolved quickly. Fortunately, with some delicacy, you should be able to help anyone who’s going through a rough time.
If you ask someone how they’re doing and they say that they’re tired, you have two courses of action: you could be a jerk and brush over their feelings, or you could stop what you’re doing and take the time to ask them about it.
The latter option is most preferable.
If you’re chatting over the phone, it could be as simple as sending a message like: “What’s wrong?” There’s always the chance that they’re just sleepy after all, but it’s better to play it safe.
In person, this is much easier. If you’re on a date with someone, you’ll most likely pick up on the changes in their demeanor, at which point you should ask them how they’re doing and what’s getting them down.
This solution may seem obvious and easy, but you’d be surprised by how many people simply brush over other people’s feelings or fail to notice the changes in another’s behaviors. Just be vigilant and give your partner the attention they deserve.
As mentioned, getting someone to open up and talk about their feelings will require some delicacy. After asking your partner why they’re feeling tired, they may be reluctant to respond honestly.
At this point, your immediate instinct may be to drop the subject and move on to another. However, you should instead gently prod them again and see if they open up. If they don’t, don’t get upset with them for not wanting to talk about their feelings. Simply trust that they will talk to you when they’re ready and move on.
However, if your partner does open up, now is the time to let them vent as much as they need to. Don’t interrupt them or cut them off to offer a solution to their problems. Often, getting something off your chest is enough to make you feel better, so let your partner speak for as long as they need to.
When they’re done, take your time to absorb everything they’ve said. If they want advice, they will ask for it. Otherwise, give them a hug (unless you’re speaking over the phone) and let them know that you’re there for them. Thank them for opening up as well.
Of course, if all your crush or partner really needs a good night’s sleep, don’t pester them with questions about how they feel. Again, when someone says they’re tired over text, it can be difficult to determine what they’re feeling. If you ask them what’s wrong and they tell you that they’re sleepy, simply let them be and say good night.
Patience is a virtue when it comes to helping people cope with their struggles. Resilience is also a virtue – you shouldn’t let someone else’s pain overwhelm you in turn. Hopefully, thanks to this guide and the insight it provides, that won’t happen.
If you’re looking for more dating insight, be sure to check out the Online Dating Success Guide, which details everything you need to know about finding love and romance on the Internet. Additionally, if you think your profile needs a touch-up, consider using our profile writing services to boost your chances of finding a match. Lastly, we also offer text message feedback which can vastly improve your conversational skills.