Tinder is one of the most infamous social-networking sites to ever grace the Internet. It is also – by some strange, unfathomable logic – still one of the largest online platforms today, boasting a staggering 75 million active users as of 2021.
As any experienced Tinder user knows, it is pretty easy to become overwhelmed by the number of options right at your fingertips. With so many opportunities for shallow, meaningless conversations, how are you supposed to decide which one to pursue?
All jokes aside, navigating Tinder and the various digitized personalities you encounter can be a tricky balancing act to pull off. This guide should serve to provide you with a bit of insight into the cultural milieu of one of the world’s biggest dating sites, with various resources and examples provided to make things clear.
Tinder has somewhere around 75 million users, and the chances of you running into every single one of them are slim, to say the least. Still, depending on where you live or where you are going, you will have to sort through countless profiles. Even if you swipe left to 9 out of every ten profiles you encounter, you will still have to perform the elaborate juggling act of managing all of your matches.
So, how many guys should you really be talking to?
The answer is: as many as you can handle. And as many as you are comfortable with. Remember that even though you may have more matches than you know what to do with, everyone that you encounter is probably speaking to someone else as well – such is the nature of Tinder, after all.
And that is the beauty of it. This sort of behavior may be labeled as degenerate or slimy in the real world, but it is part and parcel for Tinder users. Put yourself out there; talk to as many people as you want until you find that one special person who absorbs all of your time. Sometimes you need to fish with dynamite to bring home the sturgeon.
By now, you should be comfortable with the idea of talking to more than one person on Tinder. But flirting with so many guys all at once is a skill that requires time and effort to develop (and you may find that some dudes really test your patience).
Fortunately, online dating requires very few basic social skills. You just need to be able to hold a conversation and be open to the experience.
Let us break this down.
Tinder is a dating site by its very nature, but people often mistake it for a hook-up hotline instead (which is no surprise given the site’s reputation). Regardless of which camp you fall into, you should always make your intentions clear and your desires transparent.
If you are here looking for a serious relationship, let people know, and ditto if all you want is a casual fling. This will turn away anyone who feels differently, which in turn will spare you both a lot of drama and/or heartbreak in the end. Making sure all of this is apparent straight away will require some profile optimization.
In both cases, it is unlikely that you will find your perfect match straight away. You will need to iron out all of your options, which means speaking to and getting to know all of your matches. Although the very nature of Tinder permits and encourages this sort of networking, it is also very easy for people to catch feelings and even easier for them to believe that you have caught them too.
There may come a time when you will have to remind someone that you are speaking to other people too. Just be clear, gentle, and kind, and they will (hopefully) appreciate your honesty.
We have made plenty of jokes up until this point, but your safety is something that needs to be taken seriously, especially when engaging with multiple people. As we have said, it is a balancing act, so you will have to keep track of who you are flirting with.
Regardless of who you are chatting to, you should be very frugal when it comes to revealing any personal information. Something that seems as harmless as giving a guy your phone number could have alarming implications in the future if you have not properly vetted him yet. Only share your number with people you feel comfortable with.
Unless you really like just speaking to people on Tinder, there will eventually come a time when you and a match agree to a date. When this happens, make sure that you meet in a public place and – if things go really – always practice safe sex, especially if things have gone well for you or your partner a lot.
Good long-term relationships are hard to come by, especially online. Hopefully, your Tinder experience will lead you to where you want to go. If you find a perfect match, do not hesitate to pursue it, but be mindful of all of your other matches too.
Eventually, there will come a time when you will need to stop flirting with all of your matches or otherwise cease communication altogether. This can be a seriously awkward situation to navigate, and there is no easy way around it. You should make an effort to avoid hurting people’s feelings without relenting on your intentions to stop flirting or chatting. Do not ghost anyone, even if you think it is the only way to avoid hurt feelings – it is not.
Practice texting etiquette. Be clear with your intentions, be honest, but do not mistake being honest with abrasiveness. Simply acknowledge the time you spent together – either chatting or hanging out – and let them know that you enjoyed getting to know them but that you are looking for something else.
This is a great example of how you let someone down easily.
Hopefully, the people you drop – or rather, “let go” – will be understanding and non-confrontational. If you are ever unlucky enough to encounter someone hostile, do not hesitate to block them and annex them from your life. At the end of the day, although you may be looking for someone, you are here for you.
Of course, you can be on the receiving end of a “thanks, but I’m not interested.” If that ever happens, refer to this blog post to get some insight as to why.
Dating can be messy, and online dating can get even messier. But it can also open you up to a wealth of new relationships and opportunities to meet people that you would have never encountered otherwise. To this end, it is good to speak to as many people as you like – get to know them, because you never know who may just be your perfect match. Just remember to be safe and not take on more than you can handle.
If you are ever unsure about your profile, then be sure to look at our profile writing service. Additionally, we can also provide feedback for your text messages to ensure that you get the most out of Tinder and online dating as a whole.