I always have to start the conversation with my crush: Woman lying on her bed smiling while looking at her phone.

I Always Have to Start the Conversation With My Crush: Tips

After carefully planning to express your feelings to your crush on Tinder or Hinge, you eagerly send the message, only to see them go offline without a reply. Is it soft ghosting, or rejection, or are they just busy?

The uncertainty looms, and the fear of unreciprocated feelings sets in. If the constant thought of “I always have to start the conversation with my crush” resonates with you, this article is your guide. Let’s analyze your typical interactions. Ready? Let’s dive in!

What to do if I Always Have to Start a Conversation With My Crush

Young man sitting at a table in a cafe looking at his phone for messages.


It’s quite sweet that you’re aware of the fact that your crush doesn’t text you first, and that may bother you at times. However, you don’t let that get to your head.

You still send them those quirky texts, those ROFL type of memes, and texts that genuinely show your concern. But even when your best texting openers end up in a dry conversation or just get straight ghosted, then you have to figure out what to do next.

Should you confront them for not having proper texting etiquette? Should you simply stop sending those PMs to see if they even care? Or should you revamp your dating profile, work on your Hinge prompts, and think of new Tinder icebreakers?

The truth is that everyone’s experiences are different. There aren’t any fixed rules of how or when to stop replying to their late replies. This uncertainty is what often leads many others like you to my inbox.

You see, with my experience in dating and texting consultancy, I can help you overcome this crisis. But before we plan a texting strategy, let’s have a look at the possible reasons your Bumble conversation goes nowhere.

Possible Reasons Why Your Crush Never Initiates Conversation

Woman sitting in cafe having coffee while looking at her smartphone.


There are quite a few reasons why they may not be contacting you, so before you think of the worst-case scenarios behind their dry texting and ghosting, just make sure you consider these possibilities as well:

They’re Not Good at Texting

Just because your text messages are A1 in all aspects doesn’t mean your crush can match that vibe. Bad texters are common, and your crush could easily be one of them. Some people just struggle with texting. As much as this annoys you, you can’t magically turn them into punctual texters!

They’re Busy

We’re not kids anymore, and there’s a lot more to life than just waiting for that one person to text you all day long. Your crush may have other commitments as well, and that’s probably why they either don’t text first or take forever to text back. You may have been super mad at them for sending a long-awaited text that says something like this:

Text message from one person asking how the other person's week is going.

It’s okay to be mad here, but then how you reply is what will eventually help both of you break the barriers and get the ball rolling. Here’s an example of the perfect response:

Text message where one person asks the other if they would like to meet up for a drink.

For more ideas on executing a flawless conversation, explore my dating app texting feedback services.

They Don’t See Why They Should Text You

Some people just don’t see the point in texting anyone, no ifs and buts. They probably feel like it’s bothersome and don’t text without a genuine motive. Casual everyday conversations just aren’t for everybody.

If you feel like your crush is in the same boat, then try calling them once in a while instead, and see how they talk over the phone. This will give you a chance to find out for sure if they’re only skeptical about texting, or if they’re skeptical about you as well!

Is it Bad if I Always Have to Initiate Conversations?

Young man with a beard standing by a large window while typing on his phone.


I always initiate the conversation with her, is that bad? Well, It isn’t always a good sign, but it isn’t always a bad omen, either. Here are some indicators to tell you how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ things might be between you two based on your texting:

Where You Text

So, where does this dying conversation come to an end? Is it a regular iMessage? Is it Facebook or WhatsApp? Or is it through a mutual dating app such as Coffee Meets Bagel or OkCupid? And follow-up questions? Is your dating bio something that sets the right impression? If not, then that’s also probably why your crush isn’t taking you seriously.

You see, online dating profiles for women and men work pretty differently from other conversation platforms. So if you want to send the right signals to your crush on Tinder or Hinge or anywhere else, you also need to have a top-notch profile. Lucky for you, I know just the right words and phrases to add to your bio and prompts, and I’ll be more than glad to use my dating profile writing service can help you win your crush’s heart!

How Often You Text Them

Are you compulsive at texting? Do you send ten text messages within five minutes? Or do you only initiate a dry texting spell like the other one every few weeks?

A text message string from one person with no replies from the receiver.
Text message from one person saying that they haven't heard from the receiver.

If it’s the former, then your connection is most probably in a bad place. If it’s the latter, then this crush of yours is probably not that serious after all!

Find out what to text when a girl is losing interest. 

My Girl Crush Never Texts Me First

A young man sitting on the rooftop of an apartment building in the dark looking at his phone.


Alright, now let’s get a bit more specific regarding who your crush is. If you’re awaiting a conversation starter from your girl crush, but haven’t had any luck, here’s what might be going on:

She Hasn’t Noticed You

It sounds a bit embarrassing, but it’s quite likely that you haven’t been able to make much of an impression in front of her, which is why she doesn’t bother to text you or reply to your texts actively.

She Is Shy

She may be outspoken and confident in real life, but maybe she’s just shy when it comes to casual texting, especially in her dating life. That’s pretty normal and is nothing to worry about. If all goes well, then she may finally come out of her shell and text you first someday!

She’s Isn’t Into You (and Is Into Someone Else)

I mean, it’s possible, right? Just because you haven’t seen or heard her talk about someone else doesn’t mean she isn’t seeing someone. Maybe she’s actually in a commitment. Perhaps she has another crush, or she just isn’t attracted to you.

Find out if you should text a girl who has friend-zoned you. 

Guy Friend Never Texts Me First

Young woman sitting on her bed typing on her phone.


Is a guy friend you’re interested in ghosting you? Every single one of your texts? Hmm, let’s have a look at why this might be happening:

He’s Testing the Waters

Although people say that guys are quicker to become comfortable in talking to someone, that isn’t entirely, completely true. Some guys also practice caution before they actively begin texting. If that’s the case, then you don’t need to worry! He’ll eventually leap and text you first!

He Acts Like He Likes Me In Person But Never Texts Me

Is he sending mixed signals? Or are you perceiving the wrong signals on your own? Maybe it’s true that he likes you in person. He appreciates everything you say or do, and his absence over text is only because he’s either shy or he’s probably teasing you.

But hear me out; it’s also possible that he doesn’t like you. It could be true that he isn’t leading you on, and you’re only assuming that he likes you back because you already have a crush on him! If your texts go down somewhat like this, then you may have to consider if he’s really into you or if you’re only fooling yourself!

Text message where one person suggests another date with no response from the other person.

Why Do I Always Have to Initiate Conversation?

Young man in gray t-shirt standing by a window holding his phone while looking outside.


So, is it bad if I always start the conversation? If you find yourself constantly in the position of always initiating conversations, wondering why you have to be the one to start the chat every time, it’s natural to question the dynamics of your interaction. Perhaps you’ve noticed that you are thinking, “My crush never initiates conversation” a lot. 

This could leave you to wonder if there’s a deeper meaning behind it. It’s important to understand one thing – communication styles vary. So, if you always initiate the conversation, that may be because your crush might have different preferences or reservations when it comes to starting conversations.

Relationship experts suggest that it’s crucial to consider factors like personal space and mood. Sometimes, individuals may be shy, test the waters, or simply have aspirations that make them more reserved.

On the flip side, nobody wants to always wonder “why I always start the conversation with her” and feel like they’re the sole initiator in a conversation, so it’s valid to question this pattern. Assessing the situation objectively is the most important thing; try not to jump to conclusions.

If your crush shows interest and engagement when you do initiate, it might be a matter of communication styles rather than disinterest. However, it’s also essential to be mindful of your feelings and aspirations in the relationship. If this pattern persists, you might want to express your thoughts to your crush or seek advice from a dating expert to gain further insights into the dynamics at play.

How to Start a Conversation with Your Crush

Woman walking through town wearing a hijab while looking at her smartphone.


If you’re grappling with the question, ‘Why do I always have to start the conversation?’ and wondering if it’s your approach, it’s essential to consider strategies for initiating meaningful conversations. There are a few things you can do to start casual conversations so you don’t keep wringing your hands and wondering why your crush never takes the initiative to reach out to you.

If your crush never texts you first and you consistently find yourself taking the initiative, don’t be disheartened; instead, focus on fostering engaging communication and continue to show genuine interest by finding common ground to chat about. When asking yourself “Should I always start the conversation?”, consider the topics that resonate with both of you.

Discussing hobbies, movies, and pets or sharing jokes based on shared interests can be excellent conversation starters. Humor, whether through casual banter or the occasional cheesy pick-up line, can lighten the mood and create a comfortable atmosphere.

Instead of relying solely on pick-up lines, opt for question-led conversations to delve into your crush’s preferences and interests. The key is to establish common ground and demonstrate genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. Initiating a meaningful first conversation can involve discussing free time, the kind of movies you both enjoy, or discovering shared hobbies.

Pay attention to body language and ensure that the interaction feels reciprocal, allowing you to gauge your crush’s comfort level. By incorporating these elements into your conversations regularly, you can build a connection that goes beyond mere initiation, creating a foundation for more effortless and enjoyable communication.


As you can see, there are a variety of things to keep in mind when talking with your crush. When your crush isn’t the one to initiate texts, it can seem a bit gloomy. However, you can try to find out the reasons why they don’t text you first and resolve them through mutual communication.

If you feel like your dating profiles are the problem, check out my Complete Online Dating Success Guide. It covers everything from creating a magnetic dating profile and effective conversation starters to first-date tips and more, aiming to transform your online dating life

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