How do you talk to girls on OkCupid

How to Talk to Girls on OkCupid (5 First Message Tips)

Looking to land a new date and a new mate on OkCupid? But have no clue what to say?  Tons of people have trouble turning a cute match into a genuine conversation. It feels overwhelming just to get a girl to reply to a first OkCupid message.

All you can think of is saying “hi” or “hello there.” But it gets you nowhere. According to a 2015 OkCupid report, typing “hey” as a first message is seen almost as the same thing as saying nothing. There is an 84% chance it will get ignored.

Don’t sulk just yet! It may seem like a tricky ordeal, but you will find a way around it. With the tips listed here, you can break the ice.

How do you talk to girls on OkCupid

How to Get a Girl on OkCupid to Reply Back?

Here is how to start a conversation on Ok Cupid: Pick a good OkCupid opener, something the girl mentioned on her profile, nothing physical. To make a solid first impression, create a sentence that resonates with her.

“Expert hiker, huh? Which is the perfect trail for you?”

A man who writes well uses complete sentences, and solid grammar has better odds at success. He uses a direct tone that’s thoughtful. So, when you reach out to her, you reach out with the intent to meet, not just be a pen pal. Like:

“There is a bookstore right next to the coffee shop you like – maybe, when you got the time, we can see if we both find it special.”

How to Talk to Girls on OkCupid

5 Tips to Pick OkCupid Messages That Work

Many guys want to know “what should I say to a girl first”? The truth is, there is more to online dating than meets the eye. Having a good opener is just the tip of the iceberg. What you need is to hold a conversation capable of maintaining her attention. The tips below can help.

1. Show Her You Are Educated and Cultured

Don’t stock up on foolish pick-up lines or slang. Words like: wat, luv, realy, ya, u, r – are a guaranteed turn-off. Based on an OkCupid experiment from more than 500,000 first contacts, showing bad spelling and grammar was one of the worst ways to start a conversation.

Those who used correctly written messages had over 36% to 37% response rate, which is well above average. Good exceptions are expressions like “lol” and “haha” with a 41% and 45% reply rate respectively. Basically, it’s a good idea to laugh, as long as you use punctuation and good grammar.

Not getting any replies on OkCupid? Find out why here. 

2. Talk About What You Bring to the Table, Not What You Want

Most guys want to know how to introduce themselves on OkCupid. There are a ton of profiles where guys add lists of what they don’t like in girls. Even if the list doesn’t apply to the girl who is reading that profile, it still appears very demanding, confrontational, critical, and pretentious. This bio below is bland and doesn’t give prospects any reason why they should reply.

How to Get a Girl on OkCupid to Reply Back?

Before you can figure out how to chat with someone on OkCupid, you should give your profile some tweaks. Include facts about yourself that girls will find useful and interesting. Show who you really are and what makes you unique.

Provide an example of your best quality that can make you attractive – i.e., don’t just type “I love visiting new places.” Tell a story instead. To start meeting someone on OkCupid, cover a place you saw recently. Or how an average workweek looks for you. It doesn’t have to be overly glamorous, it just has to be interesting. This bio below does a better job mentioning some of the person’s interests:

How to Get a Girl on OkCupid to Reply Back?

Bring these specific interests when talking to her. Ideally, you should have a couple of things in common. These interests will help you make a connection. It could be literature, video games, food, bands, favorite movies, etc.

This can be a good OkCupid first message example. For instance, show that you read her profile, and it matches yours. You can say “good taste” or “curious what you meant by saying.” The more engaging the conversation, the better the flow. That’s why it is a good idea to have things in common. Listing your profile can help you with that.

Find the best OkCupid hacks to find more success on the dating platform. 

3. Get Creative Without Sounding Too Creepy

Still don’t know what a good first message is on OkCupid? Then, what about typing something light and fun? The easiest way to get someone to open up is to add charm to your texts. For instance, “Would you rather” questions are typical OkCupid messages that get responses.

  • “Night out or night in?”

  • “Watch the sunset or a movie?”

  • “Pick a fancy restaurant or enjoy dinner at home?”

The idea is not to ask a person to make out on the first day, but to show them that you want to make a connection and you care what they want. With an option such as this, you no longer have to ask yourself, “how do I impress a girl on OkCupid”?

Here are some easy ways to stand out on OkCUpid. 

4. Display a Sense of Humor From the Get-Go

What should I message a girl on OkCupid? The answer is simple. Try to be witty and fun. Use inventive words, if you can, to show that you have a sense of humor. Try to keep them short, sweet, upbeat, and light-hearted. But, write at least one full sentence.

How to Get a Girl on OkCupid to Reply Back?

To know how to approach a girl on OkCupid, you shouldn’t take things too seriously. It will only make you tense and anxious. Remember, online dating comes with tons of pitfalls, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.

Write whatever makes you feel comfortable. If you want to sound open-minded, go for it. If jokes make you feel at ease, then use them too. So, to answer your question, “how do I succeed in OkCupid” just don’t expect a perfect conversation right off the bat.

Enjoy the experience, and don’t let the negative conversations put you down. For a better response rate, other than being fun and creative, you can try to contact people at peak hours. Saturdays or Sundays work best. Keep your profile image up to date. This will put you on people’s front page for current activity.

Check out my complete online dating success guide to transform your love life. 

5. Let Her Be Herself

So, how do you start a conversation with a girl on OkCupid? Simple – let her be herself. It’s normal for the girl to have bad and good things that you didn’t see coming. That level of mystery can keep things interesting.

It’s a good idea to give her a compliment when you meet. But, while you are still messaging for the first time, refrain from being judgmental and pay attention to what she says. The more you listen, the easier it is for her to open up.

If the girl you are messaging seems shy and uncomfortable, then take the lead. Talk about yourself a bit and ask her questions that will help her relax. In time, your authenticity and genuineness can help her be herself.


As you can see, girls and boys are not that different. We both want interesting conversations and fun experiences that will help us connect. Don’t forget; women too want to establish that connection. With the right approach, they will want to spend time with you.

Always be punctual and educated and avoid using sexual allusions in the first message. Instead of focusing on her looks, talk about her interests, and back up your conversation with your personal experiences. With a little bit of fun and healthy confidence, you can go a long way. Now that you know the tricks to talking to girls on OkCupid, you can finally turn the tide!

Do you want to take your online dating to the next level? Then check out my professional dating profile ghostwriting services. I’ve worked with countless men and women to help them improve their dating life and find their true matches.

Whether you’re using OkCupid, Tinder, Hinge, or Bumble, I’ll work with you to improve your profile and dating lives in no time!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *