Feeling as though someone you like only texts you when they need something is extremely hurtful. But it can be hard to tell whether you’re reading into her responses or just sensitive from past experiences.
After you finish this article, you’ll know exactly how to tell if she’s leading you on and what to do if that’s the case.
When a girl only texts you when she feels like it, she’s showing you that she’s either not ready for a relationship, she isn’t sure what she wants, or she has bad texting etiquette. To find out what her feelings are about you, it’s helpful to use these checks as a baseline:
First things first, go through your past message history with her to see whether or not she responds to your texts. If she texts you back with short, one-word answers whenever you reach out, it’s fair to assume she’s not ready for a relationship or has bad texting etiquette.
However, even if she only texts when she needs something, if she also sends longer or more thoughtful responses to you, that’s a good sign. In that case, it might just mean she gets busy with work or school and forgets to reach out.
A telltale sign of someone who isn’t ready for a relationship and is just leading you on is when they constantly ask for favors. Go back through your text history and count the number of times she’s asked for a favor, like information about a party, advice, or even money.
She only talks to me when we are alone
Even just asking for instagram followers like this girl can be considered a favor. He did the right thing by calling her out and choosing not to engage. Now it’s just time for him to revamp his Tinder or Bumble profile and find someone who deserves his time.
Though we all get busy with life and work, texting only at certain times of the day is another sign that she’s only texting when she feels like it, and isn’t being respectful of your time. If she sends texts only in the morning or only at night, she might not be thinking about you at other times of the day, which is a bad sign.
Likewise, many of my clients ask me, “What does it mean when a girl texts ‘I’m bored?’” While that could mean that she’s actually bored, it could also mean that she’s only texting you because she has nothing else to do. If that’s the case, you should check the rest of this list to see if she’s giving additional signs that she’s not interested.
Overall, it’s fine if she only texts when she feels like it, as long as she also follows through with dates or phone calls. Not everyone likes to text, so she might just avoid it. But, that means she needs to put effort into the relationship by asking about dates or arranging phone calls with you.
If a girl only calls when she needs something, it’s a sign that she’s selfish and isn’t ready to put real effort into your relationship. Think back to the times she’s asked you for something.
Was it for a movie, TV show, restaurant, or book recommendation? Requests for recommendations are actually a great sign for the future of your relationship. It means that she respects your opinions and values your views. It can also mean that she just wanted a chance to reach out to you, and asking for a rec was a good excuse.
This is a great example of a girl who genuinely wanted recommendations. Instead of saying “9:21am.” he should have actually given her a rec, and even said something like, “The art district is amazing! I’m heading there this afternoon, you should join me!”
However, if she’s calling only for things like information about a party, someone else’s number, or tickets to a concert, that’s a sign that she’s just using you for favors. If that’s the case, either ask her what she really wants from the situation or stop granting her favors whenever she asks.
Every relationship is different, but there are a few significant signs that a woman is leading you on. Ask yourself these questions when you begin to wonder about where you stand in her opinion, and it might shed some light on the situation.
The number one sign that a girl is leading you on is if she’s dodgy with plans. If she either makes plans and then bails or always gives excuses about how she can’t hang out, she likely doesn’t want to see you in person because she isn’t interested in a relationship.
This conversation shows an example of a girl explaining that she doesn’t want to make plans. She was honest with him, which is much better than ghosting. Now, he needs to go back to the drawing board and go on other apps like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and OkCupid.
When you’re interested in someone, most often you text them first because you’re excited to talk to them. Though it’s not always the case, sometimes when a girl never texts first it’s a sign that she’s not interested.
If you’re thinking, “She only talks to me when we’re alone,” that’s another sign that things aren’t looking great for your relationship. A girl should be excited to talk to you in public, in front of her friends, and when you’re out and about. If she only talks to you when you’re alone, she might be leading you on.
Leading someone on is usually a way to keep them close as a backup until you find something better. So, if a girl doesn’t seem interested on a regular basis, but then immediately shows more interest when she learns you’re chatting with another girl, she’s likely leading you on. You then have to decide if you’re okay being her backup or if you want something more.
It’s very possible to like and be interested in someone without texting them all the time. Life gets busy, things take over, and we lose time for texting. With that information, there are times when a girl is interested and likes you, but doesn’t usually text back.
However, in other cases it’s a sign that she’s not interested in more than just a friendship. You can gauge where she stands by:
- Letting her know how you feel: “I’ve had so much fun chatting with you and would really like to move things forward in our relationship. How are you feeling about us?”
- Changing your texting relationship: “I’d love it if we talked more on the phone, texting is fun but I feel like I don’t get to know you as much as I’d like to.” If she agrees, you can learn more about how she feels through other channels besides messaging apps.
- Asking her on a date: “Do you want to have a date next week? I really like you and I’m hoping to get to know you more.” If she says yes, she’s probably interested.
This guy did a great job of opening the door for her to make a plan and then allowing her to ask. If she hadn’t asked about hanging, he could have said something like, “Me neither, do you want to go to the movies then?”
The key to figuring out a girl’s interest level over text is analyzing previous messages to see her usual style. When a girl is interested, she will usually:
- Text regularly
- Respond with long, thoughtful answers
- Ask questions in her texts
- Make flirty jokes
- Act excited about dates or phone calls
Every person is different, but if you’re missing most of those, then she may not be interested.
If you notice yourself struggling through situations where you’re not sure where you stand with a guy or girl, I’m here to help. I have extensive experience in the dating world and offer customized dating services to help you find the person of your dreams.
I can even help you craft a thoughtful dating profile that’s guaranteed to help you find more matches, dates, and replies. Learn more and reach your online dating goals with me.