She Only Texts Me When She Feels Like It (4 Signs A Girl Is Leading You On)

Feeling as though someone you like only texts you when they need something is extremely hurtful. But it can be hard to tell whether you’re reading into her responses or just sensitive from past experiences.

After you finish this article, you’ll know exactly how to tell if she’s leading you on and what to do if that’s the case.

She Only Texts Me When She Feels Like It

What Does it Mean When She Only Texts Me When She Feels Like It?

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When a girl only texts you when she feels like it, she’s showing you that she’s either not ready for a relationship, she isn’t sure what she wants, or she has bad texting etiquette. To find out what her feelings are about you, it’s helpful to use these checks as a baseline:

1. The girl never responds to your texts

First things first, go through your past message history with her to see whether or not she responds to your texts. If she texts you back with short, one-word answers whenever you reach out, it’s fair to assume she’s not ready for a relationship or has bad texting etiquette.

However, even if she only texts when she needs something, if she also sends longer or more thoughtful responses to you, that’s a good sign. In that case, it might just mean she gets busy with work or school and forgets to reach out.

2. Is she always asking for favors?

A telltale sign of someone who isn’t ready for a relationship and is just leading you on is when they constantly ask for favors. Go back through your text history and count the number of times she’s asked for a favor, like information about a party, advice, or even money.

What Does it Mean When She Only Texts Me When She Feels Like It?

Even just asking for TikTok followers like this girl can be considered a favor. He did the right thing by calling her out and choosing not to engage. Now it’s just time for him to revamp his Tinder or Bumble profile and find someone who deserves his time.

3. When a girl only texts me at night

Though we all get busy with life and work, texting only at certain times of the day is another sign that she’s only texting when she feels like it, and isn’t being respectful of your time. If she sends texts only in the morning or only at night, she might not be thinking about you at other times of the day, which is a bad sign.

Likewise, many of my clients ask me, “What does it mean when a girl texts ‘I’m bored?’” While that could mean that she’s actually bored, it could also mean that she’s only texting you because she has nothing else to do. If that’s the case, you should check the rest of this list to see if she’s giving additional signs that she’s not interested.

4. Has she followed through with dates or phone calls?

Overall, it’s fine if she only texts when she feels like it, as long as she also follows through with dates or phone calls. Not everyone likes to text, so she might just avoid it. But, that means she needs to put effort into the relationship by asking about dates or arranging phone calls with you.

What Does it Mean When She Only Talks to Me When She Wants Something?

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If a girl only calls when she needs something, it’s a sign that she’s selfish and isn’t ready to put real effort into your relationship. Think back to the times she’s asked you for something.

Was it for a movie, TV show, restaurant, or book recommendation? Requests for recommendations are actually a great sign for the future of your relationship. It means that she respects your opinions and values your views. It can also mean that she just wanted a chance to reach out to you, and asking for a rec was a good excuse.

What Does it Mean When She Only Talks to Me When She Wants Something?

This is a great example of a girl who wanted recommendations. Instead of saying “9 am” he should have actually given her a rec, and even said something like, “There is an event happening at X tonight. It’s going to be amazing! I’m heading there at 8 pm, you should join me!”

However, if she’s calling only for things like information about a party, someone else’s number, or tickets to a concert, that’s a sign that she’s just using you for favors. If that’s the case, either ask her what she really wants from the situation or stop giving her favors whenever she asks.

How Do You Tell If a Woman Is Leading You on?

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Every relationship is different, but there are a few significant signs that a woman is leading you on. Ask yourself these questions when you begin to wonder about where you stand in her opinion, and it might shed some light on the situation.

Does She Make Plans?

The number one sign that a girl is leading you on is if she’s dodgy with plans. If she either makes plans and then bails or always gives excuses about how she can’t hang out, she likely doesn’t want to see you in person because she isn’t interested in a relationship.

How Do You Tell If a Woman Is Leading You on?

This conversation shows an example of a girl explaining that she doesn’t want a relationship now. She was honest with him, which is much better than ghosting. Now, he needs to go back to the drawing board and go on other apps like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and OkCupid.

Does She Text You First?

When you’re interested in someone, most often you text them first because you’re excited to talk to them. Though it’s not always the case, sometimes when a girl never texts first it’s a sign that she’s not interested.

Does She only Talk to You When You’re Alone?

If you’re thinking, “She only talks to me when we’re alone,” that’s another sign that things aren’t looking great for your relationship. A girl should be excited to talk to you in public, in front of her friends, and when you’re out and about. If she only talks to you when you’re alone, she might be leading you on.

Does She Seem Interested Only When You Lost Interest?

Leading someone on is usually a way to keep them close as a backup until you find something better. So, if a girl doesn’t seem interested on a regular basis, but then immediately shows more interest when she learns you’re chatting with another girl, she’s likely leading you on. You then have to decide if you’re okay being her backup or if you want something more.

What Does it Mean When a Girl Likes You But Doesn’t Text Back?

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It’s very possible to like and be interested in someone without texting them all the time. Life gets busy, things take over, and we lose time for texting. With that information, there are times when a girl is interested and likes you, but doesn’t usually text back.

However, in other cases, it’s a sign that she’s not interested in more than just a friendship. You can gauge where she stands by:

  • Letting her know how you feel: “I’ve had so much fun chatting with you and would really like to move things forward in our relationship. How are you feeling about us?”
  • Changing your texting relationship: “I’d love it if we talked more on the phone, texting is fun but I feel like I don’t get to know you as much as I’d like to.” If she agrees, you can learn more about how she feels through other channels besides messaging apps.
  • Asking her on a date: “Do you want to have a date next week? I really like you and I’m hoping to get to know you more.” If she says yes, she’s probably interested.

What Does it Mean When a Girl Likes You But Doesn’t Text Back?

As you can see from the conversation above, the girl is busy but shows she is interested in meeting up by saying “soon?”. This opens the door for him to find out about her schedule and when she might be free to meet up next time.

How Do You Know if a Girl Is not Interested in You Through Text?

The key to figuring out a girl’s interest level over text is analyzing previous messages to see her usual style. When a girl is interested, she will usually:

Every person is different, but if you’re missing most of those, then she may not be interested.


If you notice yourself struggling through situations where you’re not sure where you stand with a guy or girl, I’m here to help. I have extensive experience in the dating world and offer customized dating services to help you find the person of your dreams.

I can even help you craft a thoughtful dating profile that’s guaranteed to help you find more matches, dates, and replies. Learn more and reach your online dating goals with me.

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  1. This is a long essay on something rather simple. Women are hard wired to divert their whole attention to you if interested and you will almost always know it.

    Unless there is a cultural or language barrier, asking subtley will tell you over a week or two. If she is not interested and still gives short polite responses, it is best to give 3 to 10 day pause.

    This will allow you to realize if you are wasting time. Some men like female friends, but my experience is they are usually shallow friendships if they last.

    1. Thanks for your sharing your thoughts! I agree although I do believe it’s possible to have good deep friendships with the opposite sex. Ideally, you should both share common interests, enjoy spending time together and have zero romantic feelings.