Getting to know a person when you first meet them can be tough, especially if you are communicating over text when it can be difficult to get across what you are trying to say.
One of the age-old dating problems is that a guy will say he is too busy to text, leaving you unsure if they are interested. To help you out, we discuss what a ‘too busy’ text means, and how to respond.
What does it mean when a guy says he’s too busy to text?
If a guy is texting you saying that he is too busy, there are a few meanings to this. The first reason is that they are actually very busy with work or family to text you at that moment, but this will not be a long-term issue. Alternatively, they are not interested in you and are trying to let you down gently without hurting your feelings.
What does it mean when a guy says he’s too busy for a relationship?
This can mean one of two things. The first option is that they are telling you the truth and trying to be open and upfront with you – after all, honestly is the best policy. If this is truly the case, then you will need to decide if you are looking for more than just occasional dates. If you are looking for a relationship, then it may be best to cut ties with the guy you are talking to, before your feelings get too deep and looking for what you want elsewhere.
Alternatively, the person is not too busy at work and is just looking for a way to try and friendzone you, or keep dating you without the commitment. Consider whether they are managing to make a lot of time for other people in their life such as friends or family – if they were swamped at work, they would also be lacking time to see them. If you find out that they are always out socializing – just not with you – this is a sign that they are not interested in you and it may be best to take this as a rejection and move on.
He is always busy on the weekends
A person could be busy on the weekend for a number of different reasons, so it is important to try and establish this before jumping to conclusions. For example, it is becoming more common for a person to not work your typical 9-5, Monday to Friday shifts, and therefore, they may be working over the weekend and unable to contact you as much or meet up with you.
They may also have other weekend commitments including sports clubs, or commitments with their family. If they seem to be available during the week, but not at the weekends, it is clear that it is not an issue of them blowing you off as they are still meeting up with you at other times.
What to do
The best way to approach this is to state that you like spending time with them and chatting to them, and then ask what they are up to at the weekend. They may give you an answer straight away that will explain why they are busy. If they are still being evasive – ask them outright why they can’t see or talk to you. This will either get you a direct answer or if it does not, will confirm that you might be in the process of being ghosted so that you can move on.
How to tell if a guy is actually busy
Quite often a guy might be telling you the truth when they say they are busy, but there are a few things that they say that make this clear.
Firstly, he might explain why he is so busy at the moment, and when he expects this period to end, giving you reassurance. He might make time to see you even if he can’t text back and forth so that he can still spend time with you, or he will always send a detailed reply – just at a slower rate. These both indicate that the person you are messaging is keen to still talk with you and spend time with you, they just can’t at that exact moment.
What to do
If you are messaging them on a dating platform, it may be harder for them to access when they are busy, and therefore, it is best to ask for their number so they can keep in contact more easily. Asking for someone’s number can make you a little nervous.
Something as simple as:
“I would love to get to you better. You seem fun! What’s your number?”
I asked him to hang out and he said he was busy
If you are looking to spend time with a guy that you have started talking to through online dating, it can be difficult to move from just messaging to going out on a date and hanging out with them in person. Many people often worry about taking this step in case they are rejected and friendzoned. If you notice flirting when you are texting, this may be a sign that the person likes you, so why not give it a shot.
What to do
It is not uncommon for a girl to ask a guy out and they say that they are busy. This can start putting doubts in your head about whether they want to see you and may make you question how successful your conversation has been so far.
At this stage, it is important not to ask too many questions as they may not be willing to answer them. Instead, consider the calmer approach – leaving the ball in their court. Let’s take a look below at how to reply to a message like this.
What to reply when he says he is busy?
If a guy says that he is too busy to see you for one week because he is swamped at work, he may suggest arranging a time the following week to see you. This can be to let you down gently or to show you that they are still interested.
How to reply
A response that will help you find out the answer is by letting them know when you are free, and asking what day suits them best. This leads to them having to respond with a concrete time to see you and if not, you know that they are not interested.
If you find that a guy is replying by dry texting, with very short text messages such as one-word answers, and then uses the excuse that they are busy, do not reply instantly. Instead, wait a few hours to reply in order to give them some time.
If they then reply back with a more engaged answer, you know that they are worth talking to. If they are still blunt, it may be time to look elsewhere.
If the guy then outright says that he doesn’t feel like meeting up, it is then up to you to decide whether you want to continue the conversation with them.
Communicating via text message when you meet someone new is never easy. If a person says they are busy it is difficult to tell whether they are being genuine, or just trying to avoid you. Hopefully, this post has provided you with some tips to help you respond if you’re going through this situation now.
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