The dating world – and online dating in particular – is not for the faint of heart. In order to be successful, you will have to develop a thick skin and be able to keep going even after a major setback.
If a girl says no, should you give up?
Finding the perfect girl can be a dream come true. The sensation of butterflies in your stomach can be overriding, causing you to throw all logic and inhibitions into the wind. The intensity of liking someone who may be perfect for you is only matched by the sheer crushing feeling of them letting you down.
Still, most guys often struggle to move on. Though admirable, refusing to give up on a girl – even after she has continuously let you down – can be devastating in the long run. Therefore, it is important to know exactly when it is time to pack your bags and move on, such as when a girl friendzones you, continuously comes up with excuses to not go out with you, or flat out refuses.
Although everyone is unique with their own tics and tells, there are a handful of universal signs that could indicate a girl is not interested in you. Knowing what these signs are and how to identify them can be difficult when you are wearing rose-colored glasses, but it could save you plenty of pain in the long run.
This sign can be tough to identify without getting inside the mind of the girl you like. No woman wants the same thing as another. There may be similarities and crossover, but everyone is different, with their own unique ideas of what a relationship should be.
This is important to understand because although you may be rich, smart, and handsome, you are not guaranteed a backstage pass to any woman’s heart, no matter how in love you may be.
This happens a lot with conventionally-attractive nice guys. Oftentimes they will pursue a woman only for her to end up with the bad boy, the edgy loner. When this happens, it is important to remember that no one is at fault. A woman is not beholden to your whims, and you are not beholden to hers. Therefore, when it becomes clear that you simply are not the type of guy that she is looking for, start the process of healing and move on.
When it comes to online dating, potential couples will often default to text messaging as their primary form of communication. Although most people nowadays have a pretty good sense of what to put in a text and how to speak, it can at times still be tough to infer the true meaning behind the lines of texts a girl sends you.
Every girl will have her own unique way of texting. Some prefer to keep it short and sweet, while others may enjoy waxing lyrical with lines upon lines of flowery monologuing. Generally speaking, though, if a girl feels comfortable enough around you to “speak in her own voice,” as it were, it could be a sign that she is interested or at least has some affection for you.
In contrast, if you never get to hear a girl’s true “texting voice” because she keeps her messages curt and to the point, she probably is not interested in you and does not want to lead you on.
When this happens, the best thing to do is reply respectfully without ever getting invested in your conversations. If she is not interested now, she probably will not be later either, so do not waste your time and move on.
Finding time to hang out with a girl can be challenging, especially if your schedule never seems to clear up. However, when you genuinely care about someone, making time for them will always be a priority.
Therefore, when a girl never seems to have the time to talk to you or hang out, it is a pretty clear sign that she is not interested in you. Her excuses may seem genuine and believable, but a quick glance at her social media profiles will usually reveal a much different story.
Additionally, a good way to determine a person’s true intentions is to see if they take any initiative. If they cancel on you, do they make it a point to reschedule? If not, they are not interested in going out with you and are simply too polite to say so.
When this happens, it is important not to lose any sleep over it. If she is having fun, there is no reason that you cannot have any fun yourself. Do not simply roll over and die. Take everything in stride and get out there to meet someone who does want to hang out with you.
All of us are familiar with the typical romantic-comedy structure and conventions: guy meets girl, girl rejects him initially, guy finds a way to turn that “no” into a “yes.” While stories like these can be sweet in small doses, they perpetuate an unhealthy idea of how men and women interact. It is important to remember that these stories are completely different from real life.
Therefore, when a girl says no to you asking her out, she means it. A “no” is not a “yes” with an asterisk. So many guys make the mistake of thinking that they can change a girl’s mind with some grand gesture or proclamation of love. They only end up embarrassing themselves and those around them.
When a girl says no, it is essential to remember that it is not an attack on your character, and it is certainly not meant to damage your ego. All you can and should do is take it in stride. Do not go out of your way to “show her what she is missing out on” or try to make her feel bad. You only end up wasting more of your own time, time that could be spent finding someone else who is actually interested in you. Also, realize there are many reasons why a girl may say no that may have nothing to do with you.
Some guys really just do not know when to give up. No matter how many times a girl rejects them, they will continue to pressure her in the hopes that she will eventually relent.
This is not only deeply disrespectful; it is just plain stupid. Despite what some guys may think, most women are not trying to play mind games when they say no. A no is always a no. Do not waste your time trying to convince a girl to go out with you. Stop putting pressure on her. Although it may be difficult, the absolute best thing you can do for both of you is to move on. And if you really care about her, that is exactly what you should do.
Sometimes the way a girl acts even after saying no may seem to suggest that she is interested after all, or she at least still holds some affection for you. While you may then feel the urge to continue pursuing her when a girl says no, she still means no, even if her actions seem to say otherwise.
But, if a girl still treats you with affection, she probably does care about you and wants you in her life. To this end, it would be unwise to snap at her or treat her any differently just for rejecting you.
Of course, rejection can be tough to get over. Therefore, if you feel you need time and space to heal, by all means, remove yourself from the situation lest you end up hurting yourself even more.
Sometimes, people will not give you the straight answer you are looking for. Sometimes they dance around the topic, never on it.
If you ask a girl out and she seems avoidant or will not say yes or no, it would probably be best if you left her alone, at least for a little bit. It could be that she is trying to work through her feelings for you, or it could be that she simply does not want to say no out of fear of hurting your feelings.
Whatever the case may be, give her the space she needs and trust that she will reach out to you when she is ready.
This knowledge should be all you need to act accordingly when a girl says no. And remember – no always means no.